Episode 118: Abby McKiernan

Abby Mckiernan

Intro: [00:00:00] Welcome to the pretty powerful podcast. Where powerful women are interviewed every week to share real inspiring stories and incredible insight to help women or anyone break the barriers, be a part of innovation, shatter the glass ceiling, and dominate to the top of their sport industry, or life's mission.

Join us as we celebrate exceptional women and step into our power. And now here's your host, Angela Gennari.

Angela Gennari: Hello and welcome to another episode of the Pretty Powerful podcast. My name is Angela Gennari and today I'm here with Abby McKiernan. Hi, Abby.

Abby McKiernan: Hello. Thank you so much for having me.

Angela Gennari: Thank you for being here.

So Abby is founder of Spark in the Dark, a nonprofit that's helped solve over 100, 000 needs across Michigan by connecting people with resources. She also co founded Help Link, a platform that. Empowers businesses to serve their employees and communities through [00:01:00] smarter gift or corporate giving. And with over 12 years of experience in marketing and nonprofit leadership, she is passionate about using innovation to drive real social impact.

Very cool. So I love that you're in this space. Um, especially coming into a new year, we have so much thought of like, how do we make this year better? All these, you know, I want to do right in the world. I want to do, you know, good. And how, um, You know, how do we do that as a company, as a person, as a family?

Um, I know over the holidays, it's always a really big priority for me to figure out how I can give back and, um, also by the end of the year, corporate gift giving, you know, or corporate giving as far as nonprofits go. So is that your busiest time of year when, when the holidays are kind of around and the end of the year time?

Abby McKiernan: Yeah, it's man, it's chaos. Always. Spark in the dark works is actually a Facebook group. And so it's peer to peer resource sharing, which means anybody at any time can [00:02:00] ask for help in their time of need. And then the community can step up and help each other. So, you know, maybe that looks like diapers, or it looks like food or, you know, work boots fill in the blank.

And so We actually just crossed the 100, 000 mark this past year. So we're at 106, 000 needs, but we saw almost, I want to say almost 30, 000 posts this last year alone. Wow. It gets really crazy. And then of course, holidays ramp up and people feel like. You know, they have to buy gifts and so then they don't pay something else that's really important because there's so much pressure.

It's, man, I tell you what, November and December, I feel like are really tricky times of the year for nonprofits as we balance. Yeah, yeah. Basic needs with these kinda ancillary extra social pressures of the holiday season.

Angela Gennari: Yeah. Wow. That's interesting. Well, you know, I wish I had known about this [00:03:00] group a few weeks ago because, um, you know, we.

I've always, uh, for the past several years have supported a certain nonprofit by purchasing some gifts for families in need. And so did it as a company, did it as a person. And we were always kind of like there was one year we sponsored seven families, I think, um, and just kind of helped all the families to have gifts and to gift cards for restaurants and all their, their needs for the holidays.

Well, this year. And so every year when I purchase gifts. I always kind of have this in my mind and I purchase gifts that I think will be useful for when we sponsor these families. When I reached out to the nonprofit and they're like, Oh, we don't need anything. We're good to go. And I'm like, Oh, okay, well, so I tried to go give these gifts to toys for tots.

And they were already done, too. And I'm like, well, um, So I had all these gifts and so I just I was like, I wonder if there's anyone who could use them. And so I'm trying to find resources and I'm trying to find, you know, where do I [00:04:00] find these families that need something. And, um, because You know, it's easy enough just to take them back to the store, but they were purchased for giving and so I wanted to give and so anyway, I kind of searched around and searched around and finally I just made a next door post and I said, Hey, does anyone know any families that could use a few gifts?

And, you know, I was able to locate a couple of them and that was, that was good, but not good, but I was glad I was able to help. And, um. But yeah, so I wish I had known about it because I think that that's a beautiful resource. And so that's just in Michigan right now? Or have you guys branched outside of Michigan?

Abby McKiernan: Yep. So there's five kind of hyper local groups in the state of Michigan for Spark in the Dark. And part of the reason we created help link, which is. An actual platform and an app is because Spark kind of struggles to move outside of Michigan. So we took very similar concepts and just made it so that it could be countrywide instead.

Any non profit can actually post within Help Link [00:05:00] and ask for things or individuals, right? So maybe you need work boots or you need scrubs. Sure. You can post, you get matched with a non profit. And then individuals and companies are able to donate to those needs directly.

Angela Gennari: Wow, what a great

Abby McKiernan: concept. Yeah, it's really cool from a community aspect.

We focus on companies who are able to actually take their money and allocate it. First automatically towards any employee needs in the system, but anything above and beyond their employees actually just goes out into the community. So

Angela Gennari: helpful. Yeah, that's great. So what made you want to get into this space?

Abby McKiernan: I, like every good entrepreneur fell into it, right? Entirely on accident. Um, gosh, so it was 2017 and full disclosure, my whole life was falling apart at the seams. It was what I describe as a train wreck with a dumpster fire on [00:06:00] board, headed up and it was not looking good for me. And I was coming out of this really bad relationship and I looked around and realized.

I didn't have a support system like I had nobody to help me really when I needed it most and so I launched spark in the dark initially thinking, gosh, I'll help five or six people that are in similar situations, I'll have a support system again, it's going to be great. Little did I know, eight years later, it would be you know 100, 000 needs and 30 some thousand members.

Wow. It was pretty crazy to watch it grow. And then about two years ago, two and a half years ago, I started realizing that. So many of those needs were, I need to get to work. I need to find work. I need to keep my job in like, they were such tiny barriers to work. They were a 50 gas card or a [00:07:00] new pair of steel toed boots, whatever.

Just the smallest thing. And they didn't show up to work because of it. Right. And somebody lost a good employee because they were too embarrassed to tell HR. And, uh, so that's when I set out to build help link actually was kind of the same where I was like, this isn't right. Like if only you knew the truth about, you know, why your employees aren't showing up, because it's not that they're lazy.

It's not that they don't want to come to work. It's that they're under resourced and overwhelmed, right?

Angela Gennari: Absolutely. So. I find it so interesting because I feel like when we are sometimes in the darkest places of our lives is when we get the most inspiration. Um, and so I, I just think it's so fascinating that you found this idea when you were struggling yourself.

So kudos.

Abby McKiernan: Yeah.

Angela Gennari: Yeah. And you know, I do a lot of volunteering and I do, um, I try to get involved in, you know, different [00:08:00] Nonprofit groups and activities, and I find that when I'm there, it's not the people who have wealth and that have resources that are there helping. It's the people who don't, you know, it is the people who are struggling themselves who are there helping and volunteering and providing resources, and they're the ones who are already working tons of hours and getting, you know, barely getting by.

They're also committing their time and resources to help others.

Abby McKiernan: It's so funny. So in the longer version of how I started Spark, depending on the audience mm-hmm . That is usually a part of the conversation is I started the group with 25 people I knew could help 25 that I knew needed help if only they could ask for it.

And then the other side, if only they knew who needed it and I mush them all into a group of 50. Right. Thinking, yeah. Everything because isn't that how it always goes.

Both: And

Abby McKiernan: I found out that the 25 who needed help the most were the 25 that were consistently [00:09:00] helping the 25 who I thought could help, but they were just too afraid to ask for help.

And so it was entirely reversed. And I was. And to this day, that still happens every single day. I turn around, um, let me go on a, a mini tanGennarit for you. No, no.

Both: That's

Abby McKiernan: true. Uh, and so I want to say it was three or four years ago, a girl reached out on messenger to me late one night asking how to join spark in the dark because she was devastated to admit that she was cutting up her own sweaters for her 12 month old daughter because she had outgrown all of her clothes.

And she couldn't afford to buy new ones

Both: and she was

Abby McKiernan: so embarrassed and she didn't know what to do. She lived in a space, you know, kind of out in the country where there weren't a lot of resources and she was desperate for clothes. And so of course. I'm now in it, right? Because I answered this message at 10 o'clock.

I'm like, yep, absolutely join. As soon as you ask, I will, you know, clear the post so that it goes [00:10:00] public. Let's get you some help. Right. And I'm so anxious and I'm waiting and I'm waiting and waiting and waiting and she doesn't post. And I'm like, All righty. So I wake up in the morning expecting to see this post from her because they have to get pre approved and I didn't see a post from her but I did see a comment and it was her offering clothes to another woman for they need a nine month clothes.

She's like, Hey, I have a whole bin of nine month clothes, please come get them.

Both: Wow.

Abby McKiernan: So, I, you know, I. Pondering this because again, she hasn't asked, they saw she commented and got some 12 month close somewhere, but then she messages me, Angela, and I'll try not to cry. I've told this story so many times,

Both: not

Abby McKiernan: cry about it, but she messaged me.

She's like, Hey. I just want to let you know that for the last year, I have felt entirely useless. I have felt like I can't even provide for my children. What's wrong with me? I have felt so low [00:11:00] about myself. She's like, and then there was a moment on spark where I saw somebody needed something that I had.

Both: Wow.

Abby McKiernan: Wow. She's like, I didn't know that I had anything of value to offer literally anybody and it has changed my entire life. I was like, Oh, and it's, I mean, it's happened multiple times, but that one in particular always gets me just because. To think somebody came in and had no value, um, right. And didn't understand what they could bring to the table.

And something so easy, like baby clothes was that I have value moment. It's just so cool to me.

Angela Gennari: I love that story.

Abby McKiernan: How's

Angela Gennari: she doing now?

Abby McKiernan: She's good. I'm actually a regular helper in the group. And to come full circle, which is cool. Recently was giving away a bunch of her furniture, actually. So you think 32, 000 members and I wouldn't remember each one, but I can't remember my own birthday.

[00:12:00] Yes,

Angela Gennari: I get that. So, um, so I've got a story for you. So I moved to Georgia in 1999 and when I moved here, I got this job, this new job and this job I was making 19, 000 a year, but it was during the dot com. bubble thing where, you know, they, they bring you in with this really atrocious salary, but they're like, but you're going to be a millionaire because we're going to, you know, you're getting stock options and you're going to have, you know, all this commission.

And it was a technology job. So I was like super stoked about how much money we were going to be making, but if I could just deal with the 19, 000, I'll be making commissions in no time because I'm a good salesperson. I'll just get out there and, you know, sell everything. Well. Then, you know, days turned to weeks turned to, you know, months.

And, you know, I'm like, where are all these commissions? I've done all these sales and you know, what's going on. And basically the commissions weren't coming in because we hadn't installed the technology and all these places. And long [00:13:00] story short, that company ended up being a whole, like. One of those scam companies where, you know, it was a pump and dump where they brought in all these people.

They pumped up the stock price. It was, uh, it was just all of a scam basically, but nobody knew it. None of us knew it. Anyway, the CEO knew it. He should be in jail by now, but I don't know. But he, uh, but yeah, so he knew it. Um, but you know, all of us clueless 19, 000 a year You know, salespeople didn't know it.

So there was no commissions coming in because there was no technology to install because the whole idea was he was going to pump up the stock, sell it to some other company who had the technology, and then walk away a billionaire. And, you know, unfortunately, it all collapsed before all that happened.

But Um, but yeah, so here I am, you know, thinking I was going to be okay. I couldn't afford to go home for Christmas, you know, because I live in, I lived in Pennsylvania, I moved to Georgia, and so I was in Atlanta and I'm like, I can't afford to go home and see my family. So here I [00:14:00] am, you know, living five states away, broke.

lonely, you know, feeling sorry for myself. And so I'm like, you know, what is going on? And so anyway, it was just this awful time in my life. And, um, you know, I had broken off an engagement prior to moving to Georgia. So it was just like, it was a very lonely holidays, you know, just, it was awful. And so felt sorry for myself all the way through Christmas.

And then here comes New Year's. And I'm like, okay, I'm done feeling sorry for myself. I am done with all of this. pity party, I have to make a change. And so I said, you know, the first thing I'm going to do New Year's Day is I'm going to take the 87 that I have in my bank account and I'm going to give myself some perspective.

I'm going to go do something for somebody who can't do anything for me. Right. So, I mean, I felt like I had, this is all the money I had in the world. It's 87. So I went to McDonald's and I bought as many breakfast meals as I could. And, um, I individually packaged them and then I went and distributed them downtown to [00:15:00] all of the homeless people that I saw.

And so, and it was the, the most turning point moment of my life because I just realized, like, no matter how bad you think you have it, You've got to have perspective. Like, I might be feeling sorry for myself, but people have not had contact with their family in years. They may, you know, they're living on the streets, it's cold, it's awful out there.

And, you know, at least I have a roof over my head. And at least I, you know, have family that I can call if I need them, you know, at least, you know, like there's so much that gives you perspective. So, um, anyway, so that was what I did that year. I then did that for the next 25 years. Um, so 25 years, first day of the year, new year's day, I would go and buy as many meals as I could at McDonald's.

And, and I remember a few years ago, I was actually, um. I was downtown and I was with my son and we were buying, you know, our normal meals and I think, you know, we had gotten up to the point where we knew we could deliver [00:16:00] about 50 to 60 meals in a day before they're all cold, right? Like, so we're like, before, before I'm like, maybe we shouldn't be passing these out anymore, but so you like, even though, you know, we, we had gotten to a better place and I could probably afford a little bit more, I knew that 5060 was kind of the limit of like, you know, what we really wanted to, to be able to, plus we just couldn't fit it in a car.

So, but there was a guy who had walked up to me at McDonald's as we're packaging these meals and he said, um, are you passing these out? And, and, uh, you know, and this is downtown and a not very nice area. And, you know, he was, um, he had just walked up. I didn't know if he was homeless and I was like, yes, are you hungry?

Would you like. Would you like breakfast? And he's like, no, I want to help. And so he hands me a hundred dollar bill. I thought he needed food and really, he just wanted to contribute. And so he handed me a hundred dollar bill and I went and bought more meals. So, [00:17:00] so yeah, so, uh, you just never know, but I did that for 25 years.

And then unfortunately the city of Atlanta passed an ordinance, ordinance. this past year making it illegal to pass out food to homeless if you're not an organization. So unfortunately that had to stop because, you know, I, you know, we would just do this. I mean, it was. It's not like I was cooking it in my home, you know, it's, but, but if they see you, they will find you.

And it's very unfortunate. It's very unfortunate. You should set aside the money for

Abby McKiernan: the, uh, fine. Exactly. You're ahead of time. Yes,

Angela Gennari: exactly. If they write you

Abby McKiernan: the fine, just hand them the cash.

Angela Gennari: Yeah. We're good. Bye. Yeah, we're, we're even, right? Okay. So, yeah.

Abby McKiernan: Back into my shirt. You find me. You only find me once for one act.

Angela Gennari: That's right.

Abby McKiernan: Don't let me do

Angela Gennari: that, Georgia.

Abby McKiernan: So

Angela Gennari: yeah, yeah, so they uh, but unfortunately that's That's, that's become a problem. So yeah, but we, for 25 years, uh, that was something I did every single New Year's and it meant a lot to me that, that tradition, because it's the most [00:18:00] grounding, you know, thing that you can do is to serve others when you yourself need something.

So anyway,

Abby McKiernan: isn't there, there's an old adage and I can't, I can't remember who it's by right now. It's like, you know, if you feel sorry for yourself, go help someone else, right?

Angela Gennari: Yeah. A hundred percent. 100%.

Abby McKiernan: My children, so I have this kind of huge gamut of ages of children. So I have a five month old daughter that you saw before we started.

Both: Uh huh.

Abby McKiernan: An almost two year old and an 11 year old and an 18 year old.

Both: Oh, wow.

Abby McKiernan: Very wide range. It's great if an 18 year old can, uh, help me self correct my parenting now. He's like, no, don't do that again. That was terrible. It didn't work for me. But one of his things that he's, you know, he's telling me, he's like, Hey, I'm really thankful that you instilled in me.

That like every time someone was being unkind to me, or sometimes like right when somebody was struggling, your response was never, Oh, honey, you're so great. They're terrible. He's like, your response [00:19:00] was 100 percent of the time, you have no clue what they're going home to, right? That's right. Have compassion.

Remember to be empathetic, because you simply don't know

Both: who the

Abby McKiernan: person you are looking at, right? What What happened to them seconds before, days before, right? Their mom could have died, they could be on their last meal, they could be down to pennies, they could be getting evicted. Who knows, man? Uh, and so now, even at 18, he's like, that is probably the biggest, most important lesson I think you ever, you ever gave me, was like, To have empathy and to know that you have no clue what somebody is going through, right?

Yeah,

Angela Gennari: I used to tell it to my son when he would get bullied in school, you know, I would always say like, you know, imagine how mean he's being to you. That means that's how unhappy he is, like, that's his measure of unhappiness because when you're unhappy. The only thing you can think to do at that age is make other people unhappy too.

And I was like, so, you know, you, you've got to remember, they probably go home to [00:20:00] parents who are really mean to them or to a home that's very unstable or, you know, to a brother who beats them up all the time. And so just keep perspective, you know, you're only seeing a portion of how unhappy they are when they're treating you badly because happy people don't treat people badly.

Abby McKiernan: Oh,

Angela Gennari: another good man. You're killing me with

Abby McKiernan: memories here.

Angela Gennari: Uh, hurt people, hurt people. That's right. Exactly. Hurt people, hurt people. That's 100 percent true. World's most

Abby McKiernan: simple quote. I feel like anyone can understand it. And the age and usually sits us right back down, right? Like, Oh, yeah. Uh, sure makes it sting less anyhow.

Angela Gennari: Yeah, for sure. Um, so talk to me a little bit about, um, what it was like to start your business. So when you started help link, and I know when you started the Facebook group, that's one, that's one thing, you know, like, but when it started becoming bigger and you're like, I need an app, I need a website, I need this to be an actual business.

Tell me about that process.

Abby McKiernan: [00:21:00] Man, I am thankful. Yeah, I did not know what was ahead or I would have never started.

Angela Gennari: So many people say the same thing. Well, entrepreneurs, like if you knew what it was going to take, there's no way a sane person would just embark on that kind of torture.

Abby McKiernan: Right. Well, and I, man, you would think I'd learn my lesson, but I never do.

For me, it's always one of those. things where it's been a pull, right? Where it's like, nope, there's only one possible direction I can go and anything but this direction is a total distraction. And I will, I mean, I quit my highest paying job I've ever had. Uh, last year I got this great salary, this great title.

I was super pumped. My whole marketing career had led up to this moment and I got there and I was like, I just can't, I can't do it. I can only work on Helplink because I just know. It's what is the right thing to do.

Angela Gennari: Yeah.

Abby McKiernan: Every [00:22:00] day I'm not working on it. Thousands of people are not getting the help that they need.

And I just can't live with myself knowing that, right? Like I just can't do it. And so, so I had started it actually a few years ago. I told you. And I went through the process of trying to find an app designer and all the things, right. And I was talking to investors who are helping me make it look like it was going to make money.

And I mean, I'll, this whole, I learned, I had to read the book called personal MBA, very helpful, terribly boring. Uh, if you're someone that works on passion, a book about being an MBA is just not a book. Yeah. We're learning about ventures and, in how investors. I think, I mean, it was just, I, it totally, I got so misaligned.

Yeah. I was like, excuse me for saying screw it. I quit. I'm done. I sat helplink on a [00:23:00] table, like on a shelf for a year and a half because I was so overwhelmed because I was doing it. Everybody else's way, and not my way. Right. So suddenly, everything I was trying to build was totally misaligned with what I wanted to create, because at no point was I being true to myself, right?

I was listening to what everybody told me I had to do to build my business the right way. And so I quit for a while. Yeah. My now business partner actually reached out to me on Facebook. It was like, Hey, okay. I love spark in the dark. I'm building an app because I think it could be better frankly. Wow.

He's like, but I have some ideas and some questions and I really want to pick your brain like, can we have coffee? Can I write a card? So about two hours into our coffee, I was like, I don't think you should build your thing. I think we should build our thing. I have eight years of experience. You're a software developer, [00:24:00] which is going to cost me hundreds of thousands of dollars to do.

And that was my biggest holdup. Like, can we please be friends? Yeah. Now a year and a half into it, we have this incredibly designed platform with eight years of my knowledge to stop all of the issues that come along with giving, frankly, right? The abuse and the questions and the, where's my money going?

And all those things have been handled. Uh, and I think that was my biggest, like, how do I put this? Um, finding a business partner who is equally passionate, but quite different than me was perhaps the best blessing and hardest thing I could have done. I didn't have so much ego. That I was unwilling to let somebody else help me because I wanted it to be all mine, right?

There's a, uh, a shark tank saying by Mr. Mark Cuban, that's like, well, zero dollars on a big pie doesn't do you much good. Right. Right. Exactly. And so [00:25:00] I split my pie in half and it has been a much better experience this round. Building it is fun again,

Angela Gennari: good, good. That's awesome. Well, um, yeah, building an app, I'm sure is not not easy.

And so you you really kind of did hit the jackpot just kind of getting the right business partner. And

Abby McKiernan: I tell you what, he thinks through things like 25 steps ahead of me, because I'm like, Oh, we should we should do this little thing. And he's like, great. Do you know that it's going to affect these other 25 things?

I'm like, I didn't think about that. I wanted to change the color music. Yeah. Okay. So don't change the color then. Nope. All right. Nope. Yeah.

Both: Yeah.

Abby McKiernan: Uh, it's good. It's good to have somebody that gives you a checks and balance. Not to say you can't be a solopreneur. My fiance is actually owns an all weather jacket company.

He's a solopreneur and that has its benefits [00:26:00] too, but I'm happy. I have a partner to keep me in check.

Angela Gennari: Oh, good. That's awesome. So I want to pivot a little bit over to the corporate giving. Um, so where do you find the corporate giving is most prevalent, um, in terms of like, what, what category is it? Health?

Is it, um, is it youth? Is it like, where do you see most corporations wanting to contribute?

Abby McKiernan: In terms of the industry, the corporation is in or no,

Angela Gennari: just where they want to give.

Abby McKiernan: Oh, I see. So it's funny, everybody has different kind of goals and obviously industries. I actually spend a lot of time traveling around the country teaching companies how to give because so often, especially these companies that are fast growth, they're, you know, they've got 100 employees and they're suddenly rapidly manufacturing in particular.

Both: Yeah.

Abby McKiernan: They're growing so quick that they don't [00:27:00] always think about giving as. It's something they should be aligning to their company's mission. I joke. I joke that you can give to kittens on your own time, but so often what I see happens is actually it's, you know, the CEO or whoever's in charge of the checkbook is just writing a check to whatever organization asks for money.

Or to their kids softball team, right? Yeah, well, that's cool. But did you ask the 200 employees who come in every day and bust their butt for you? What they wanted to donate to because you didn't make your money alone. Um, and so it's funny that you asked, because the answer is actually the opposite of what you're looking for.

And that is. Most of them don't have any plan, and they just write a check to whomever is nearest because they don't know what to do, because no one's told them how. So that's actually my whole soapbox is like. You know, if you're a bicycle manufacturer, you should probably be [00:28:00] donating bicycles to children.

Just makes sense. Right? Yeah. Because not, and not selfishly here. I don't want to like, right. Make philanthropy about bottom dollars or business. But also if there aren't children riding bicycles, you don't have a bicycle, right? Because nobody's buying bicycles. So if you're not instilling a love of your product in people, even if they can't afford it, then you're probably.

Maybe you need to be rethinking how you do it.

Angela Gennari: Yeah, you know, that's such a great point. Yeah, yeah, great point, absolutely. Yeah. So, where do you see most of the industries coming from that are giving?

Abby McKiernan: Yeah, so, uh, that one is kind of varied, but we focus a lot on manufacturing. In particular, just because, um, giving is something they've always done and maybe they haven't done it quite as openly as people realize.

Yeah. Um, [00:29:00] and so I feel like manufacturing is actually one of those spaces that gives a lot more than is talked about. Uh, and we have a lot of food based companies. I feel like, you know, it's not strange, but like Shortsburg. Hurry is super cool. They have a great culture. And so they spent right at these companies that have culture and they understand how important their communities are.

Those are the ones that are usually donating and helping. Uh, so those are what we focus on. Not to say there are other industries that are, you know, banks, for example, give a lot to,

Both: but they have

Abby McKiernan: foundations and things that are a little more structured.

Both: Yeah.

Abby McKiernan: Interesting. Interesting. I love that.

Pigeonhole all of them. Yeah. So that's Helplink's kind of whole. So I go around talking about strategic giving, but Helplink is all about donating to employee and staff needs first and foremost, because you can't make money without your staff in mind. You might write a check to the Salvation Army every year anyway, which [00:30:00] is great.

But why wouldn't you specify that first 50 that your employee is asking for from Salvation Army to them directly to ensure that your employees That helped before just in Gennarieral.

Angela Gennari: Yeah. Right. So Gennarieral person. That's a great point. Mm hmm. That's really good. So I love that your, your business kind of ignites that, you know, inspiration in others.

Um, I probably, because you call it, you know, I like the spark in the dark. I think that that's a really cool name. Um, so, but who inspires you?

Oh,

Abby McKiernan: um, gosh, everybody, I know it sounds so cheesy, uh, but the truth is it's you don't get me wrong. I love my Gandhi and my mother, Teresa and my, right. They're all inspirational and there [00:31:00] are so many people that are giving in big ways, but the people that inspire me most are the people that don't have a lot to give and still find a way to get right.

The people that are down to 87 in their bank account and then pull it up and go buy meals for other people. Those are my, those are my people. I'd rather sit at a table with them every day than I would any investor I've ever met. Right. Yep. Yep. That's it. The people. The people inspire

Angela Gennari: me.

Abby McKiernan: I

Angela Gennari: love it. No, that's so true.

I mean, you're in an industry, you know, specifically where, you know, you have a lot of very giving people and those are the people that inspire me too. I think that that's amazing. Yeah, they really are. So I'm going to ask you a question that I ask on every podcast. And so as women, we give away our power all the time, you know, in just different ways could be micro, you know, micro ways or macro and could be something like, you know, giving credit to somebody else, but give you, can you tell me about a time that you [00:32:00] gave away your power?

And then another time where you've stepped into your power?

Abby McKiernan: Oh, those are good ones. I spent basically every moment up until my early 20s giving away all of my power. I was in a male dominated industry and I was just trying to make a name for myself. And I thought that being kind meant being a pushover.

Right. And being kind meant that I couldn't have boundaries and that I couldn't say no. And then I couldn't, right. Even not just saying no to, Hey, it looks like you might have some time. Can you take on this extra project, but also, Hey, get out of my office. And if you hit on me again, I'm firing you. Right.

Yeah. Not just in business, but in life in Gennarieral, because I've been a deeply kind person. We, if you ask my mother since the day I was born, I've just always been good to the core, as my son calls it. And what [00:33:00] that meant for me though, in my head for so long was that being good and being kind. It's been, being, you know, not speaking and not having boundaries.

And I, you know, basically have a relationship I had up through my early twenties where the moments I gave away all of my power. I think I really stepped It into that power when I started spark and when I realized that I could say no, and then I could be firm and it didn't have to be me. Right. I didn't have to be aggressive in my know, but I could be firm and it didn't.

And the other people didn't perceive it as. Right as mean like I perceived I was like, oh man, I'm saying no to them. They're gonna hate me forever.

Angela Gennari: Yes Yeah, I

Abby McKiernan: Like but like I made them uncomfortable and then guess what they never did it again [00:34:00] and we were good And we found a new normal and getting comfortable in that discomfort was I think everything for me, uh, especially in the tech world and business and investors.

And, uh, I've gotten, that's it. That's for me was the stepping in my power was building something of my own. And then saying, No, I don't have to accept your behavior. Please leave me.

Angela Gennari: Exactly. Yeah, no, I agree. And I think that that's one thing we focus on being polite. And yeah, the the politeness can be a problem.

Because you know, some people equate that as a weakness or as interest. And it's not interest. It's polite.

Both: Yeah,

Abby McKiernan: I usually Tell people, uh, don't, don't mistake my kindness for meekness. They are very strict things.

Angela Gennari: So true. I'm not meek. Uhuh. No, not at all. So what advice would you give to your [00:35:00] 18-year-old self?

Abby McKiernan: Funny enough, I have an 18-year-old son, so what I know. What advice you give to him. Get to live there. . I'm giving him speeches every day. Let's call him. Mm-hmm . What would I have told my 18-year-old self? I think this too shall pass. As cheesy as it sounds. Mm. Um, I had a very turbulent kind of background and upbringing in life.

Mm-hmm . And had I known at 18 when I would build. From those really hard moments that shaped me, maybe they would have been a little less traumatic in the moment, right? That consistent reminder of like, Hey, listen, if there's no pressure, nothing, nothing good happens, right? You become mediocre and I'm not trying to live a mediocre life.

I'm trying to build something great for my community and for my kids. And the only way I could have done that was to suffer and to understand other human beings. So suck it up and push through. Yep. [00:36:00] The only advice my 18 year old would have heard was like, suck it up and keep going.

Angela Gennari: Yeah. Rub dirt on it and get out of it.

Yeah. Get out of the pain. Yep. Yep. So I, I, I'm a big believer in, um, Character building opportunities and so when things are happening that are negative or bad or struggle or, you know, something like that, like it's going to happen, but think of it as the character building opportunity that you have, right?

Like these, this is the resilience moment. This is the time where you get to build back. And so, like those, those moments that you have to use everything inside you to get through it and go above it. Those are the moments where. Yeah. You know, I feel like that, that teaches you more than all of the good stuff combined.

Amen. If I

Abby McKiernan: had a nickel for every time I told my children, well, the only way through it is through it. Yup. I would have a lot of nickels. I mean, now you don't have to start companies, I can just live on

Angela Gennari: those. That's right. That's awesome. So this has been [00:37:00] really enjoyable. Abby, I have really enjoyed talking to you.

So, um, one last question, uh, what do you wish more people knew? Giving doesn't have to

Abby McKiernan: be big. Yeah, that's a good one. Giving doesn't need to be a thousand dollars. It doesn't need to be, you bought a Christmas for four kids, right? It doesn't, just because it's not grandiose doesn't mean it doesn't mean everything, right?

It's a box of nine month clothes. It's a box, right? And it can change everything. So don't be afraid that you don't have enough to give. To start, just go buy somebody a coffee.

Angela Gennari: Yeah, honestly, like just, you know, pay it forward. If you're in line at, you know, coffee shop, buy coffee for the person behind you.

It changes their day. And then watch

Abby McKiernan: how many people after that buy a coffee for the next person. So that's part of that. Buy the coffee and then watch the chain. [00:38:00] Yeah. Yeah. That's absolutely. I like that one. That's my favorite. Doesn't gotta be big. It doesn't.

Angela Gennari: Yeah, it doesn't. Yesterday I saw a homeless man on the street and he, I was on my way to work and he, uh, he didn't have shoes on.

And so I just pulled over and I was like, sir, and I just handed him some cash. And I was like, please, it's cold out here. Just go get some socks and shoes. And he was so appreciative. And it's just like, that's the, just enough for socks and shoes. Like I wasn't going to change his life. He wasn't going to be able to, you know, change his position.

But he could get some socks and shoes, right? And it's just the little things. That's if you see somebody in need, it takes nothing, nothing to really help because I'm not going to miss that money I'm going to, you know, but it will mean something to him, right? So you gotta, when you see an opportunity, jump in, jump in and help, because you never know what that's going to mean to the person that you're helping.

Might not change your position or theirs, but it's an

Abby McKiernan: [00:39:00] opportunity. And if you see an opportunity and you don't know how to help, ask. And treat it with respect. Say, Hey, you look like you could do some help. Like, yes, what can I do to make life just a little easier for you?

Angela Gennari: Yeah. Yeah. Right. And they may, they may say something totally different, you know, Hey, I really need to get home, you know, like I can't afford bus fare right now, you know, it costs me 2 and 50 cents to get that person home.

Right. And that's it. Sometimes that's all it takes. So just. Ask and be respectful and do everything in a kind and Gennarierous way. Uh, but yes, agreed.

Abby McKiernan: I think you and I are cut from the same cloth, Angela. I

Angela Gennari: agree. I agree. I think it's important that, um, People realize that there's so many opportunities to serve every single day.

And I love that you have made it your mission in life. And I think that that's just so admirable. So thank you for all that you're doing to help others. And thank you for where you started from [00:40:00] a place of needing to a place and then turn it into a place of giving. So, um, I just think that that's just exceptional.

So thank you for everything that you have done for others. Well, thank you guys for joining us for another episode of the pretty powerful podcast and Abby, how can people find help link?

Abby McKiernan: Yeah. They can, it's so easy. You just go to helplink. org slash give, or if you need help, helplink. org slash ask.

Angela Gennari: Okay.

Abby McKiernan: We'll get you to us. And then if you're a business, just go to the website.

Angela Gennari: Perfect. And you can also go to prettypowerfulpodcast. com and we will make sure all of Abby's information is on there as well. So thank you everyone for joining me for another episode of the pretty powerful podcast. And thank you, Abby, for joining us.

Thanks so much for having me, Angela. Absolutely. Hope everyone has an amazing week. Have a great day.

Intro: Bye bye. Thank you for joining our guests on the Pretty Powerful Podcast, and we hope you've gained new insight and learned from exceptional women. Remember to subscribe or [00:41:00] check out this and all episodes on prettypowerfulpodcast.

com. Visit us next time, and until then, step into your own power.