Episode 125: Aleya Harris

Aleya Harris

Intro: [00:00:00] Welcome to the Pretty powerful podcast where powerful women are interviewed every week to share real inspiring stories. And incredible insight to help women or anyone break the barriers, be a part of innovation, shatter the glass ceiling, and dominate to the top of their sport industry or life's mission.

Join us as we celebrate exceptional women and step into our power. And now here's your host, Angela Gennari.

Angela Gennari: Hello and welcome to another episode of the Pretty Powerful podcast. My name is Angela Gennari, and today I'm here with Aleya Harris. Hi, Aleya. Hi Angela. So good to see you. So our guest today is a strategic storytelling consultant, award-winning speaker and bestselling author of Spark The Stage as CEO of the Evolution Collective.

Aleah helps leaders unlock their radically authentic stories to transform cultures [00:01:00] and drive success. So cool. So. Storytelling is one of those very unique skill sets that I think, um, it's so powerful when you get it right. So what made you want to get into storytelling and then help others to do the same?

Aleya Harris: It was a little bit of an accident. Um-huh. I was about to. Embark on a great storytelling journey as the, uh, head of marketing for North America, for a big company that I was working for. And I had read a book called Building a StoryBrand by Donald Miller, which I definitely recommend that everyone read.

And I had convinced my boss to send me to Nashville for a week to get trained in the book, become certified as a StoryBrand certified guide. I was gonna turn all of that juicy knowledge into marketing for the company. [00:02:00]

Both: Mm. And then they

Aleya Harris: laid me off two weeks after I. I said, okay, well what do I have? You know, like, uh, what are my assets right now?

What, what makes me valuable and what do I wanna do with that information? And I realized that I didn't really want to go back to working for somebody else. I. I had this fancy certification that was, um, five figures to, to attain that I didn't have to pay for. Mm-hmm. For that. So what could I do for story?

And I really realized that not only did I. Love it, but I was good at it.

Both: Mm. I

Aleya Harris: was good at not only using the framework, but at, at understanding the message behind the framework and allowing people to tell their authentic stories through the framework. In fact, I was so kind of good at that, [00:03:00] that I ended up working as a trainer for StoryBrand as well as being in some of their, um.

Their online components and then traveling around and training companies on their behalf. So story became. A way for me to articulate my passion and my purpose, which is to love people into the highest versions of themselves. Story is a clarifying device. It's a way for you to understand your unmet potential.

It's a way for you to understand the people around you. And all of that is a way for you to then love yourself into an even version, better version of yourself.

Angela Gennari: That's very cool. Very cool. So I like that you really kind of make it personal for people and, and storytelling is that because so many times I see people go out there and they try to, to tell a story, but [00:04:00] until you get really authentic and until you're able to really be vulnerable in telling your story, I don't think it connects.

Aleya Harris: I 100% agree with you. So since my StoryBrand journey, I've gone on to develop my own storytelling frameworks based off of some research of not only just the hero's journey, which is what the StoryBrand framework is based on. But of other StoryBrand, uh, other story frameworks, um, from Africa and Latin America to also make sure that it wasn't just a colonialized version of storytelling that I was telling.

And what I discovered in that experience was that stories are a way to unlock. You on the inside and allow you to transmit that from to somebody else. So if you miss the first step of figuring out [00:05:00] yourself and what you wanna unlock before you put it through story, the story falls flat. So you need to figure out your, what I call radically authentic self, at least enough to have one good story to tell.

It doesn't have to be a story around some big trauma that you face, uh, or something horrible you've gone through, but it needs to be a story that you are deciding to share because it connects with some commonality within humanity, with fears that we all have, hopes that we all have experiences that we all have.

The reason why you're telling your story is to allow people to see their own stories in new and exciting ways. Because when you are authentic and people understand where you're coming from through the power of story, you are then facilitating their transformation. That's the whole point [00:06:00] of story.

Angela Gennari: Mm-hmm. I love that so much and there's, there's a lot in there, but I just keep thinking to myself like. Is it difficult to get people to be vulnerable and share some of that? Because I know like I'm a radically different person in my forties than I was in my twenties because in my twenties I felt like I couldn't be vulnerable.

I was so like I had to have this tough exterior. I was trying to build a business, I was trying to do all these things, and I didn't. I wasn't able to get in touch with that vulnerable side because I was too afraid that if people saw the, saw the vulnerable side of me, then they would discount my abilities.

And so, so, but it wasn't until I was in my forties that I stepped into the comfort of that, of, you know, just being authentically me and people can take it or not. And that's okay. Like I've gotten comfortable with that. But how difficult is it for you to get that vulnerability out of people?

Aleya Harris: [00:07:00] I think it's not very difficult, so, but it's because of when they come to me.

Mm-hmm. So I can tell when someone is not ready or that's not their jam and Right. And this is not the path for them. By the time I get them, they're at least, um, we'll call them vulnerability curious. Um, they're wanting to explore more. They see how even large brands are getting more authentic and having great results because of it.

Um, they're seeing that vulnerability and the courage to be vulnerable will help them see parts of themselves that is act. They're actually the parts that are the differentiators. That's what vulnerability does is most people look outside of themselves for, how do I stand apart? What's the newest gadget?

What's the newest technique? What's the newest phase or fad? And [00:08:00] all of that soon becomes assimilated. I. Because none of it is really, truly unique. As soon as you learn the newest technique, well then somebody else is gonna learn the newest technique too. And then now, now what? And now where did your differentiation go?

So if you go inside yourself, you are already differentiated. You came into this world differentiated. You just need to be able to articulate what that is and tell that story so people connect with you. Mm-hmm. So, for example, at the time of this recording, there's about roughly 800 StoryBrand certified guide.

Both: Okay?

Aleya Harris: If, if when I started. All I was going to do was be like, my differentiation point was a StoryBrand certified guide. That, that's a little, that's quite a bit of competition.

Both: Mm-hmm.

Aleya Harris: I mean, it's less than the number of marketers out there, but it's a highly [00:09:00] specialized category. Right, right. And there's websites where you can find us all together and there's like, how do I tell, how do I know who to pick?

Both: Mm-hmm.

Aleya Harris: And so it took me a couple of years, but then I leaned into, well, I'm the StoryBrand certified guide, who's gonna really lean into you and tell your authentic story? It's not just about putting the things in the boxes. Yeah. And ever since I've, I've recently let go of my StoryBrand certification because I have branch into my own, my own frameworks.

But it was that small bit. Of me tapping into what I was good at, which is in the grocery store, Angela, people start telling me their whole life stories because there's something about me. Mm-hmm.

Both: That

Aleya Harris: makes you wanna talk, right? Yeah. I love it. And so I'm like, well, let me use that and get people talking about themselves so that they can make the impact they're supposed to make on the world.

Angela Gennari: [00:10:00] Yeah. Well, that's beautiful. So where did this come from with you? Um, like how did you go from, you know, how did you be able to, how were you able to tell your authentic story? What is your, how did you get there? I.

Aleya Harris: You know, it's been an interesting ride. One, I've always been a talker. Mm-hmm.

Both: Like I

Aleya Harris: was a kid in elementary school that got in trouble for whispering because I didn't really know the concept.

I was like, how, what your voice supposed to be. But then nobody can hear me if I'm whispering. What's the. I've always been a communicator, but I think that it was in my own personal internal journey that I started getting into my authentic self. It took me leaving corporate, um, because I was always, um, a pretty it connected human, but it really took me, leaving corporate took me leaving those rules and realizing what the rules [00:11:00] were.

Then I dove in. I went to seminars and many Aleyahuasca ceremonies, and I did a lot of the exercises and used the tools that I put inside of my book, sparked the stage. The whole first third of the book is dedicated to tools to help you reach your authentic self,

Both: right?

Aleya Harris: Mm-hmm. There was a lot of crying and journaling and tarot cards and using pendulums and all of these things.

To do what is actually pretty simple is to sit down. Quiet the world, quiet yourself enough and start having conversations with that radically authentic self within you. The reason why many of us can't just do that is 'cause there's so much noise. We can't concentrate. We doubt ourself. Oh, that voice that we're hearing, that's just me.

That's not any type of wisdom. I'm not wise, I'm not worthy. I'm not valuable. I'm not this. And so we do a [00:12:00] lot of things to just be able to get to the point where we can do the most simple thing. Let's just to sit down and have a conversation.

Both: Mm-hmm.

Aleya Harris: And I had to do it all. And everybody's journey is different.

I mean, some people might just be able to sit down and have the conversation, they would save them years. So I wish I were that person, right. I'm not Right. So once I was able to sit down and have that conversation, I started. Really seeing what my limiting beliefs are and where to move forward. And then, you know, a couple years after that I had a baby and I love her.

She's adorable. She's two. Mm-hmm.

Both: Oh.

Aleya Harris: Um, her name is Ruby Coral. She was my favorite person on the planet. Um, but I was super cute while pregnant. Had a great pregnancy. I only gained like 16 pounds. Wow. I was all belly and I got a little booty with Uhhuh. Right.

Excited. But then after I gave birth, I had a little bit of a, well, not a little bit, I had a traumatic [00:13:00] birth experience. And then from there I just had postpartum depression, you know, and I'm still getting through it. I, like this week my psychiatrist adjusted my, uh, depression medication. So it's been a kind of dark night of the soul journey for me, which I realized was.

Necessary for me to go on to dive deeper into myself and also to gain a, a stronger level of empathy for those who cannot see themselves. Because I've always had a, a grand sense of self-awareness, but in depression, it's like I didn't have awareness of anything besides that. I was sad or anxious.

Both: Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Aleya Harris: Um, or, or just blocked or tired, because depression doesn't always manifest in. Crying all day. Sadness. It manifests in many different multitude of ways. Um, and I, and I [00:14:00] went through feeling blocked and was like, oh, this is horrible. Like that connection that I would all I kind of took for granted, felt like it was gone.

I went through, um, not understanding myself and being lost and being broke and not, and like, so all this stuff that I went through over a period of two years gave me a grander sense of empathy for people with where they are, where they are, and allowed me to be able to help them even more. From a place of deeper understanding because now I have gone through yet another cycle of my story.

We keep going through stories and having triumphs and successes, and then we get another crisis and we go through and we're constantly on a story cycle, but this story cycle is the hardest of my life, and going through that has helped me. Be able to tell that story, which I've told many times in more depth than this, and then also be able to hear [00:15:00] people's stories from an even more empathetic, sympathetic, compassionate place.

Angela Gennari: Yeah. You know, I can totally relate to that. So I, I had been writing a book for 20 years and this, this book is just something, it was just kind of my own personal project. I wasn't sure what I was ever gonna do with it. It was just keeping notes and keeping notes and keeping notes. And it was all about connection and, and overcoming obstacles.

And, you know, I had had my own journey, you know, being raised by a single mom and growing up in a, and you know. Not a troubled house, but just, just, you know, the whole school was, it was, it was a, a terrible school and just was not a great, um, childhood. But at the same time, like, I had a really strong mother who was a great support system and there were a lot of positives.

So even though we didn't, you know, um, have money, we didn't, you know, there were, there were a lot of struggles. There was also the ability to have a really strong foundation, um. [00:16:00] But, you know, so I started write, I was writing this book since I probably was 20, right? And so over 20 years I'm writing this book and I stopped writing it at a time period of my life when I had gotten into a really horrible relationship with somebody who was a narcissist, where was very abusive.

And so it just, it, it. It created this emptiness inside of me that I just felt like I didn't have anything to say or anything to give, and why would anyone listen to me? You know, like, what on earth would I give in value if I'm in this, right? Mm-hmm. So, mm-hmm. I, I shelved the book and it just kind of went away for a long time.

And, um, it wasn't until I came out of that. And, you know, the whole time I was in this abusive relationship, I wasn't telling anyone that what was going on. I was protective of that, where I didn't want people to judge me because I was weak, right? Like, I felt like, um, [00:17:00] I'm just too weak. I can't, you know, I can't share this with anyone.

They'll, they'll think that I can't handle my life, you know, I'm a terrible mother or I'm a terrible person for, for being in this. And it was, um, but anyway, it was when I came out of it. It took me about a year after I came out of it where I finally just started being vulnerable and telling people, you know, like what happened with this relationship.

He seemed like such a great guy. And I was like, no public. You only in public was he a great guy? And so I finally started telling people the honest truth about what was going on, and that was such a freeing moment, you know, where I was like. I'm gonna tell people about how I went through this horrible, awful thing for a few years and you know, people really.

It really resonated. And that vulnerability was my ability to finally connect and say, okay, you know what? 'cause I would always have this perfect facade. Like it, I had to [00:18:00] have this. Mm-hmm. You know, whatever I pulled out on the outside had to be perfect. And so I didn't want to tell anyone in the times that I was weak, I didn't want to share any of my struggles.

And so, but it was in that moment that, you know, it all came to light of like. I need to write this book because that vulnerability is the, the one thing that allowed me to connect in a way that I was never connecting with people before.

Aleya Harris: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So now you understand

Angela Gennari: I do. So you understand

Aleya Harris: exactly what I was saying?

Angela Gennari: Yes. So, like, that's what I was saying, like I can totally connect to what you're saying because it was in those moments where I'm like, you know, I'm struggling. I, but, but this is where I felt like I have a story to tell. I went through this. Mm-hmm. But I went through this for a reason because this is, this is, this is what is gonna enable me to connect because I finally get it.

I finally get what struggle is. I finally get what [00:19:00] shame is. Mm-hmm. And when you go through that is is when you're like, oh yes. Like I don't feel like I have to be perfect. I can say what's the truth and not what I think people want to hear.

Aleya Harris: Absolutely. I'm, I'm, well, I guess I'm not so glad you went through that experience, um, but I'm glad that you learned the lesson, right?

I have a, mm-hmm. Um, a thought that it's like it's, you're doing yourself a disservice if you go through a crisis and you don't find the lesson, because otherwise you're just going through pain unnecessarily,

Angela Gennari: and you'll go through it again,

Aleya Harris: and you'll go through it again. When you learn the lesson, and then even better when you're able to articulate that lesson to someone else, that's when you are truly able to move past that lesson and find value in it and not just the pain.

Angela Gennari: Yeah.

Aleya Harris: [00:20:00] Otherwise, it's.

Angela Gennari: Just pain. It's just pain. Yeah. You have to let the student be the teacher. Yeah. So when you can then teach, you know, this is what this pain felt like and this is how I got through it, you might help somebody else. So I love, love that you wrote a book. So tell me about the process of writing a book and what was the inspiration behind it?

Aleya Harris: So the process will interesting. I, I have a course also called Spark the Stage, and I, I would love to sit here and tell you that like, oh, I had this book in me and it just had to come to the world. That was not the issue. I am also a business person, so I'm like, okay, look, I wanna sell my course, spark the stage.

I am doing all of, you know, other things to sell it. And it's, it's going well, but I'm like, what would really elevate me being able to see. Speak from stages about this, and it's like a book. I need to write a book about this thing.

Both: Yeah.

Aleya Harris: So I sat down and I was like, okay, this will be the first. That was the first time [00:21:00] I, I had, I had really put all of my framework down in one place besides the course, um, in a written version.

So I took the course and I started off with putting that in the book, and then I added a bunch of stuff and I tweaked some things and added some additional frameworks and. It and I came out with a book, but I started in, in January, 2020. What are we in 2025. So I started in January, sorry, 2024. And I was like, I'm just gonna write a book.

I'm gonna publish it this year, which was like all year. Do this thing,

Angela Gennari: right? That's

Aleya Harris: not, that's not how this works. I hooked up with a publication consultant, pristinely, P-R-E-S-S-T-I-N. LEY Uhhuh, um, the best. If you need someone and you're wanting to self-publish and you want to not figure any of it out

Both: mm-hmm.

Go

Aleya Harris: to pristinely. They have very great [00:22:00] pricing because the pricing on publication consultants goes all the way. At the highest quote that I got was $45,000. And I'm like, what? Wow. Are you smoking? Mm-hmm. Um, so they're much better than that. And they are, I mean, it's like white glove service, so I highly recommend that.

But they, the first thing they told me before I even signed on with them was, so you can't publish a book in Q4. It won't do well. Oh. I'm like, all right. Okay. So I was like, so when do I need to give you this book? Like done and edited? They're like June, because I wanted to then publish it in September.

September 19th was my birthday, so I'm gonna get as close to Q4 as possible. So I published it on September 19th and they said, you need to give this to us by June. It was April, um, when we were having this conversation. Oh, really? Written much. [00:23:00] Right. So I got my poop in a group and I did it on June 30th. I sent them Wow.

The final. And you know, it's funny because, um, the person who just wrote won best rap album of the year at the Grammys, um, gave herself 30 days to produce her album. Wow. And she gave herself a time limit, and clearly it worked out well for her. Yeah, for sure. Wow. And it's amazing what happens when you give yourself.

Yeah, so my book is not gonna, well, might win a Grammy when I record the audiobook. You never know.

Both: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Um,

Aleya Harris: but it is really good and I was surprised at myself. I was like, I should have done this a long time ago, given myself a better timeframe than a year. Mm-hmm. To do it. That had a couple of months, I popped this sucker out and I then handed it over to Cine Lee who did the [00:24:00] cover art and the formatting and um, the Amazon ads, and it hit bestseller before.

It's actual release date.

Both: Wow. Um,

Aleya Harris: and then it's hit bestseller on Amazon a couple of times. Um, since then, so I'm really proud of the book. Um, but not just because I actually got it out in the world when I said I was going to, which is a proud moment, but because of what people are saying, because of it.

Wow. I feel more confident. Wow. I feel like you're speaking directly to me. Wow. I feel like, um, I now have a way forward and that's what makes me so proud. And then people then are ending up now, which is my master plan.

Both: Mm-hmm. Buying the book

Aleya Harris: and then joining the course because the problem with. Any book?

Not my book, because I give everything that I possibly can to you. But the problem with any book is you read it and you're like, am I doing it right? Right. That's the big question. I don't know. I mean, I read it, am I understanding it the way the author intended to write it, and then did I [00:25:00] come out with a product that's any good?

So people then join the program. Which is a 12 month program basically of me answering that question for you as many times as you'd like me to, are you doing it right and showing you and teaching you, um, nuances based on your individual circumstance.

Angela Gennari: Very cool. I love that. I love that you looked at it from a business perspective and you're like, how can I.

10 x my speaking career and you're like mm-hmm. And it's so true. Like a book is the selling, you know, it's a selling point because you can say bestselling author, Aleah Harris, you know, and, and Exactly. Things that it gives you validation of like, you know, this woman is what she's talking about. Yeah. That was very cool.

Aleya Harris: And, and it was, I mean, it was like a lot to write. Yeah. But it was, um, exciting and I, when I was writing the book, it was. I would never do this again. Yeah. Horrible. How do people do this? And [00:26:00] now that it's out and into the world, I'm like already taking notes for my second one.

Angela Gennari: Oh, really? Oh wow. That's

Aleya Harris: awesome.

Angela Gennari: Yeah.

Aleya Harris: I'm like, okay. I think I'm, I think I'm hooked because I, I enjoyed. The internal experience that it provided me of getting super clear, making sure that the, the concepts were as standalone as humanly possible.

Both: Mm-hmm. Because when

Aleya Harris: you have a course, especially like, uh, I have, my course is a course as an on-demand course, but it's also program.

Right. So you can talk to me. And I, and I thought that I did that for the course where I put everything in the course, and you would only need to talk to me when you're needing to bounce ideas off of me. But in the back of your mind, when you're creating the content, you're like, oh, they're gonna be able to talk to me.

Both: Right,

Aleya Harris: whether you realize you do it or not, but in a book, you're like, they're not gonna be able to talk to me right away. Like they're reading this on a plane. They don't know me like that. How can I help them? And it really forces you [00:27:00] to be at the top of your game

Both: with

Aleya Harris: the way that you explain your own concepts.

Angela Gennari: Interesting. I like that. So tell me about your speaking career. How did you, how did you start marketing yourself? Like if somebody wanted to start a, a great speaking career, tell me some tips that you would give them.

Aleya Harris: The first thing that I would tell you is that it is not difficult to get on stage. That seems to be everyone's hangup.

They think that these stages are elusive, uhhuh and these special people who gets to find out where they are more. Haha ha. That is not the case. You can Google call for speakers and you'll be amazed at how many places are looking for people to get on stage. You then submit to call for speakers? Are you gonna get them all?

No. Mm-hmm. Are you gonna get some of them? Yes. And then when you get on a stage, whether they are going to pay you or not, your goal is to be as good as humanly possible because speaking [00:28:00] begets speaking.

Both: Mm-hmm. Speaking

Aleya Harris: is the best way to be speaking.

Both: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Aleya Harris: So. The way to be good on stage is buy my book.

Spark the Stage available@amazon.com, and what you need to do is get into yourself, figure out what stories you're telling and what the general theme is throughout the stories and how it relates to what you sell. You then develop a presentation around those stories that allows people to, uh, to understand your story and to understand them the, the reason why you're telling the story, which is to convey a central point.

You then teach them something, you give them in-room experiences and you constantly reiterate their main ideas that they are motivated to participate in their own transformation. Hmm. You also use that stage. So don't just stand in one place, move left to right and move forward and [00:29:00] backwards. And move up and down.

I'm not saying jump up and down, but bend your knees.

Angela Gennari: Yeah, yeah.

Aleya Harris: You know, like get, sometimes you need to get lower, sometimes you need to bend at the waist. My definition of a public speaker is a performing performance artist who delivers helpful information from the stage, whether you're virtual or in person.

So embrace the performance artist piece because otherwise they could be at home without the pants on. Mm-hmm. Reading a blog post.

Both: Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Aleya Harris: So how are you going to differentiate yourself from the audible version of a blog post? That is what makes people book you more and more. You have tangible takeaways, which is what every person that is designing a conference or an event wants, they want people to be able to write things down and do them, and they want people to be entertained.

Both: Mm-hmm. They need

Aleya Harris: you Think about your speaking from the perspective of the event organizer. [00:30:00] They are trying to sell tickets for this year and trying to sell tickets for next year, and if you are so good this year, people will say, this is the caliber of the event. I'm definitely coming back next year, whether you obviously are speaking there or not, but they are assuming that the next speaker, whether it's you or not, is gonna be as good or better than you, which makes them buy tickets.

That's what is in the event organizer's mind. Are you going to put more butts in seats? Mm-hmm. Yeah, absolutely. Everything comes down to money. Mm-hmm. Everything. I don't care if you're a relationship coach. I don't care if you are a divorce coach or lawyer. It all comes down to money and you have to figure out where the money is flowing and how you can help it flow better either for yourself or someone else.

And that is another way for you to be asked back to be a speaker. Some of the don'ts, don't get up there and just talk about yourself.

Both: Mm-hmm. People

Aleya Harris: misunderstand storytelling to be that [00:31:00] where you're getting up and just telling your story. The audience is a narcissist with a short attention span. Mm-hmm.

You are when you're an audience as well. Is it about me? Can you make it about me? Five minutes Ag, uh, from now? Is it about me five minutes ago? But you're not really talking about me, so I'm not really listening. Mm-hmm. You need to tell your story in a way that has a So what? So don't just get up there and just talk about yourself and be like, well, hope you figure your life out from here.

No, no, no. Ain't gonna work. Another don't is don't apologize.

Both: Hmm.

Aleya Harris: If there's a tech issue, if you don't click the slides Right. If you don't say the right thing, no one knows. Yeah. No one knows.

Both: Mm-hmm.

Aleya Harris: You are the person on stage hosting a group experience. So the group experience needed for you to maybe skip over that slide, maybe people weren't gonna be that interested.

Stay in the flow and don't apologize when you're on stage. Own the room because that way people will [00:32:00] feel comfortable in owning themselves if you are owning yourself on the stage. And that's how you get people to get into that vulnerable, receptive place where they're willing to take in your information.

Angela Gennari: Oh, I love that. That's really, really good advice. Awesome. I try, man, what I do. This is what you do. This is what I do. I love it. So you, you, you have a, there's one topic that I saw in your bio and it says why most speakers fail and what is that missing element?

Aleya Harris: There are several Uhhuh, Uhhuh. Most speakers fail because they don't actually get started.

Both: And I

Aleya Harris: know that that sounds so cliche, but it is literally what I see within my course over interesting and over and over again. And I'm not calling anybody else. If anybody here is in my program and you're like, she's talking about me, I might be, but I'm not gonna say y'all name. If you feel [00:33:00] convicted, maybe you should figure out how to keep going with your tops.

But I have people that pay me thousands of dollars. And they never even start on their topic. Wow. And they have something to say. I've heard them tell me their stories. I've heard them tell me their passion. I know that they can help people. They are experts and they just don't get on the stage. What. Most of the time is happening as they're letting their ego and limiting beliefs run their life.

Yeah, and it happens very insidiously to where you think that it's a real. Problem when it's just an excuse.

Both: Mm. But

Aleya Harris: I don't have the time. I mean, clearly, look at my life. I run a business. I'm a parent. I'm this, I'm that. I plan to, I don't know, take a rocket to the moon. Whatever it is you find the thing [00:34:00] that you are going to tell yourself is more important than you getting on stage.

What you're really saying is, I'm scared or I have a lack of knowledge. I don't feel supported. I don't feel confident within myself to tell this story. I feel like my story might harm myself or others. I don't feel like I can get into this topic because it's going to hurt me to revisit. Mm. I don't feel like other people will want to listen to me.

Those are the things that you're really saying when you say, I'm busy. Wow.

Both: Right.

Aleya Harris: When, oh, this got in the way. So the thing that keeps most people from getting on stage and being a professional speaker is, is their ego, their limiting beliefs, and the fact that they never get started. Hmm.

Angela Gennari: Yeah, I, I can, uh, relate to all of those because I've definitely, [00:35:00] I've definitely given myself excuse after excuse of like, well, I'm just busy right now.

Well, maybe next year, well, maybe when things slow down mm-hmm. Well, maybe when things, you know, take off on this side of the, you know, the career journey and maybe when this happens, and I've, I've done all of those. Mm-hmm. I've,

Aleya Harris: and you're not alone. Now, I'm at the point now where I almost get surprised when I get a student that's like, Hey, can you give me your opinion on my final, uh, presentation?

I'm like, oh my God. Yeah. That's awesome. And you know, and it is not for lack of support. Sure. And in my program, I am on a call with them once a week. Oh yeah. They can hit me on Slack at any point in time. Get feedback via video of your voice via text. It is not, 'cause I won't make it clear. It's not amazing.

Yeah.

Both: Yeah. And it's

Aleya Harris: definitely not on me not being, I'm on [00:36:00] stages, baby.

Both: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Aleya Harris: It is all of that stuff. And, and, um. It's amazing how even after you've taken the first step and you've been in the program, you would think that people, most people would take it to the fruition because they just spent some money.

But it's actually at that point that you need to watch yourself the closest, because that's, if you take a hero's journey analogy, you've been called into action

Both: and

Aleya Harris: now you're refusing the call, which. Is a clearly articulated step of the hero's journey. And then you say, stuck there, refusing the call.

Oof. So the reason why I like storytelling is not just that, it's a sense making device, not just that it allows people to understand the insides of you on the outside, but because Hero's Journey and other [00:37:00] storytelling frameworks, it's actually the actually how we live our lives.

Both: And

Aleya Harris: so when you think of the hero's journey, when you think of a storytelling framework, when you think of especially ones from Latin and African American and African cultures that take in the collective sense of the greater good, more into account, you're able to see where you are stuck.

Oh yeah. In your own journey, and you're able to see the lessons and where you. Are, and you're like, oh, well, if I am here in this extraordinary world right now, and I've actually see that I've gone through this trial and that trial on this journey towards self development, I. Well then let me go back and, and really collate these lessons and celebrate my successes for no longer being stuck in the refusing the call stage, no longer being stuck in the, I don't have a mentor and I don't have the [00:38:00] knowledge to do this.

I did that. Wow. How amazing am I now, let me use that knowledge to continue along this journey. It's when people take storytelling to the internal, most personal level, and they use it to understand their life. That's when storytelling really gets unlocked and when the best speakers get unlocked and when the best money gets unlocked, because you can apply that as what I do in my consulting business to individuals and then also to corporations and their workplace culture because people live stories whether we are writing the story intentionally or not.

Angela Gennari: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So I love that you use this, the. Hero's journey because that is so powerful. Um, because that's exactly what's happening, is you could be the hero in somebody's story, but you're not telling your story, you're not [00:39:00] connecting, you're not putting it out there. There was a gentleman that I had seen, um, I had gone to church one day and when I realized that it wasn't my normal pastor speaking, I almost left.

I almost left. Hmm. Like, it was like, oh man, I didn't come here to see somebody else. Like I, I wanted this. And, but I was sitting there and it was, you know, like I said, this book, 20 years in the making, I had gone through this really awful experience. I was really like. I, you know, nothing that I have to say is gonna help anyone if I was able to put myself into a shitty situation, right?

Mm-hmm. And so, mm-hmm. I really had discounted my own voice and my own judgment. And so I'm sitting there and he is speaking and he said. Your story. If you've always, if you've ever thought like you wanna write a book and you're thinking that your study story doesn't matter, who are you hurting by not putting it out there, [00:40:00] who is suffering right now and desperately needs to hear the words that you have to say to them, and you could then transform their life, and by not putting it out there, you are hurting.

Them and you, and that was, it was, mm-hmm. Absolutely. It was one of those moments where you're sitting in an audience and all of a sudden you're like. Is he talking to me like, is is this? He was, that's the way Spirit works. Yes. It talked through him

Aleya Harris: to everybody and I was like,

Angela Gennari: how did he know? And I almost, it felt so personal.

Like it felt like this was, this was to me on this was all a hundred percent, you know. All the thousands of other people that were there is good for them. But this was to me, yes, yes. Aren't you so glad you stayed? Oh my gosh. So amazing. But yeah, that was, that was really powerful. And that's what actually triggered me to start writing the book again.

But yeah, that was, oh good. That was, I'm so glad you went. Yeah, [00:41:00] I know. Me too. It was one of those just crazy moments where, and you stayed, I guess I stayed, I was like, yeah. Fine. I'll sit here for 10 minutes and, 'cause I was, I was trying to kind of like think of my route out because it was a packed, you know, like, how am I, alright now I'm gonna get outta here without like everybody space.

Excuse me. Obvious. Yeah. Excuse me. So yeah, absolutely. But fascinating, fascinating how that works. But I love that you used the hero's journey. I think that that's such a powerful way to convey that message of, of mm-hmm. You know, how our words matter. Yeah,

Aleya Harris: absolutely.

Angela Gennari: So tell me about some obstacles that you had to overcome in getting to that place of your speaking career, your book.

Aleya Harris: Uh, well, postpartum depression was the largest obstacle for sure. Yeah. That I was already a speaker when that happened, but I became a speaker during C oh. So also the obstacle was who's gonna pay me?

Both: And

Aleya Harris: the decision that I made was. To [00:42:00] just serve anyways. And it was the best decision I ever made.

Both: Mm.

Aleya Harris: Because then as soon as people had the money, I was the one that they, they went to, and I made a quarter million dollars in six months because I speaking. That's

Both: awesome. Mm-hmm.

Aleya Harris: So if people are like, will speaking really make me the money? Yes, it, it will if you do it correctly. Um, the other obstacles that I've had to overcome were, what is my topic?

What exactly do I talk about? I probably changed my topics more than is right. Um, and I also at one point in time had way too many topics, which signals to event organizers that you don't know yourself and you don't, they don't understand what box to put you in, and they need to be able to put you in a box.

That was just part of the journey, um, to getting to the point where I am now where all of my talk topics are either storytelling for making money, which is breakout of the sea of sameness with the power of storytelling, storytelling for culture, which is I. The story driven leader [00:43:00] or storytelling for personal development, which is vanquish the villains, um, of your journey.

Right. But it's all storytelling. Yeah. And how we're applying it, and all related to a revenue stream that I have. So it took a little while for me to figure that out. Um, if it don't make dollars and don't make sense. Mm-hmm. So if you are just like, but I wanna talk about my, I don't know, man. Kit s uh, okay.

I can get board with whatever you wanna talk about. Do you have a Shopify site for your kitty watercolor paintings? Are you offering classes for how to teach kitty watercolor paintings? Do you have a book on how to teach? Do you have a meditation that people can play in the background as they're painting their kitty watercolor paintings?

What are you selling? Right? I can get behind anything. We can find a stage for you, my friend. Some maybe a little bit more limited than others. Kit Watercolor paintings is very niche. Very, but well, you can find a stage for you, but you have to tie it back to something [00:44:00] that you're gonna sell. And people say, oh, but I just, you know, wanna talk.

Talking is hard, flying around the country, talking to sometimes rooms of people that don't want you there. Yeah. It's hard. And so in order to stick with it, you have to get the what's in it for me.

Both: Mm.

Aleya Harris: As the speaker. And mostly it's money. Yes. There's lovely, wonderful, beautiful moments that keep me going.

People emailing you changed my life. I would not have been here without you. Thank you so much afterwards saying, can I give you a hug? And them crying after what I'm talking about? And I talk about marketing and storytelling

Both: mindset.

Aleya Harris: Right, right. I am, I'm good at what I do, I do uhhuh. Um, so those moments are great, but I can't do them broke.

Angela Gennari: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Aleya Harris: And neither can you. If I am broke, I'm more worried about myself and being of service to an audience. You have to figure out where the money is [00:45:00] as you're figuring out your career, and that's my biggest thing for those, those bleeding hearts out there for those super altruistic people.

Angela Gennari: Yeah,

Aleya Harris: yeah,

Angela Gennari: yeah.

Aleya Harris: I love you so much. You're gonna be great speakers, but where's the money?

Angela Gennari: Yeah. Yeah. That's awesome. Really, really cool that you're. Saying that because so many people were like, I just wanna get my message out there. My message, my message. But at the end of the day, you also have, you know, rent to pay. Yeah.

Yeah, you have to, you know, you, you can't be stressed about, like you were saying, your, how are you gonna keep the lights on? Um, your message is wonderful, but let's talk about how to keep the lights on too. So, yes, exactly. I love that you're saying it out loud because so many people get stuck on the, I just wanna make a difference.

And, but there's, there's a, you have to also have that foundation of like, I can make a better difference if I can also support myself. So,

Aleya Harris: exactly. Mm-hmm. And there's lots, so I named some [00:46:00] ways, but that's not an exhaustive list of how you can get paid. Sure, yeah. And it doesn't need to come from the event organizer.

They can pay you 0 99 and you can still make money. And we do talk about that in the course and in my program we can talk all about it and sponsorships. There's all kinds of ways. But you have to have your mind on your message and your money.

Angela Gennari: Yeah. Yeah. That's beautiful. Awesome. So tell me, what advice would you give to your 18-year-old self

Aleya Harris: baby girl?

Oh, it's gonna be okay. First of all, don't date that boy, or the next one. So let's start there. They not they good for nothing. They just gonna hurt your heart. Yes. I would tell her to find a way to maintain friendships longer.

Both: Yeah.

Aleya Harris: Because I have some friends from when I was 18 and my best friend, he's been my best friend since we were 15.

But I would say focus on [00:47:00] relationships and give people grace.

Both: Mm. Not

Aleya Harris: everybody is going to do exactly what you want them to do. You little control freak uhhuh. So recognize that they are humans first and love them through it. Um, realize that Christianity and God are wonderful and Jesus is still your homeboy, but be open to the fact that Jesus and God are not in people.

Um, or they are, he is in people, but people don't always reflect him. Right. And so any hurt that I would've been hurt and heart hurt in, in the church and by God, and, and I would encourage myself to find a deeper relationship with spirituality earlier and not look, look for it in people, but look for it in my self.

Both: Oh yeah.

Aleya Harris: First. Um, other advice I would give to my 18-year-old self is [00:48:00] take more advantage of like the college programming. Yeah. Like, I went to a really good school, I went to USC and like there was, I feel like there's a lot of cool things I missed out on, you know? Mm-hmm. Um, I feel like youth sometimes is wasted on the young.

Yeah. If I went back to college right now, I would be doing all of the things. Um, the last thing I would tell my 18-year-old self is to get a therapist now to get those skills, um, that you need to weather the storm. And I would tell my 18-year-old self that you, my love, have high functioning depression and anxiety.

I didn't realize that until I went to postpartum depression, and I thought I was just in post partum depression, which I was, and it was horrible.

Both: Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Aleya Harris: But my psychiatrist was like, so tell me about life before. And he goes, oh no baby. Yeah, no. This is the lifestyle for you. This is not a right now.

This has been a lifestyle. And he pointed it out. I [00:49:00] was like, oh shit. Oh, sorry, what? I was like, oh my God, you're right. And I wish that I had gotten that. Earlier I think that I, my life would be, would be very different. Well, you, I mean, I have so many lessons. Yeah. I feel like I'm in a, giving myself a lot of grace.

Yeah. I feel like I'm in a, in a wisdom pocket right now. Mm-hmm. I think you go through life, you're like, I'm learning and it's hard and know I'm, oh my gosh, I'm gaining and collating all the wisdom and then, you know, you'll go on the rest of the journey. But I'm in a wisdom pocket right now, so I think I would have a quite a bit,

Angela Gennari: yeah.

To

Aleya Harris: tell my 18-year-old self.

Angela Gennari: Yeah. Well, and I think we need to do more of that. We need to be, we need to be giving advice to people who we have in our lives. 'cause there's so much, like my son is 18 now and like I am like daily, just like dumping information on him. Like don't do this, make sure you do that.

Make sure like, yeah, all the things. I wish I knew when somebody told me at 18, but they probably did tell me and I just didn't listen. So there's that. Yeah, absolutely. I have friends out the [00:50:00] wazoo telling me

Aleya Harris: not to date that boy. Mm-hmm. I just wasn't listening because I was 18. Right, exactly. So there's also some of that too.

Like you could have told me lots of things and would I have listened a different story. Right, right. Exactly. But I think though, like in this. Magical place. If me right now at 38 was standing in front of my 18-year-old self, I feel like I would listen more because that's like, oh, well you actually are me and know what I've gone through.

Versus ah, mine, you don't know anything. Right, right. You're old. This

Angela Gennari: is true. This is true. Um, so as women, we give our power away all the time. You know, we give our power away to. People who are toxic in our lives, we give our power away to, you know, give credit for our work to somebody else. Can you tell me about a time that you gave your power away and another time that you stepped into your power?

And I imagine your power all the time, every time you step on a stage. But is there, I step

Aleya Harris: in and out. It's a little bit like doing, um, double [00:51:00] Dutch uhhuh.

The, the very first sentence of my book is. When I started my entrepreneurial journey, I was in an abusive relationship, and the abusive relationship that I was in was with my mentor and coach at the time, who was a narcissistic energy vampire, and I gave all of my power away to her. I allowed her to develop a business that I didn't even know how to run.

She would constantly tell me my ideas were not good enough, or they were almost good enough, but here's a better one. Ooh. Yeah. You know, it was very patronizing, very minimizing, and it wasn't until one day I was like, I don't like this, or I would have kind of a little bit of anxiety even going to go see her or meet her.

I didn't wanna be there. My whole body was saying no, that I was like, I need to make, I. A change. And so I actually had a, a, he the only friend breakup I've ever had. Yeah. Um, and [00:52:00] it, and then like a good narcissist, she didn't wanna be confronted with herself 'cause I have to talk to her. She said no. So I wrote her a letter and then she told me all about how horrible I was.

And I said, that's fine. I'm just done.

Both: Mm-hmm. And

Aleya Harris: so that was a very, um, acute example of. Stepping in and out of my power, and then back in, and then back out, and then finally into my power and, but it, without her, there was a healing journey, right? Because she had become so inextricably linked with my own sense of identity as an entrepreneur because of the timing with which I was mentored by her, that I had to then discover myself.

I had to then figure out whose voice was in my head because it wasn't hers anymore, and I didn't. Mine in there. So who's Bueller? Who's in here? Mm-hmm. Who can guide me now that I rejected this person who I thought was going to guide me to success, and she probably would have, that's the thing. I probably would if I had stayed under her [00:53:00] tutelage and friendship, we'll call it friendship, would have been successful financially, but would've felt like a husk of a person on the inside.

And I decided. That my personage was more important, my humanity, my energetic sovereignty was more important than staying there, and then I was able to be successful without her.

Angela Gennari: Well, good for you. Yeah. And then those toxic people teach you how strong you really are. So, you know, absolutely. It's crazy 'cause they break you down, but then once you discover that you have the power to come back from that, you, you're unstoppable at that point, you, there's nothing that can hold you back.

So, absolutely. As much as I hate to say that those people do you a favor, them leaving your life does you a favor. And once you realize yes, that you can, you can come back from that.

Aleya Harris: Mm-hmm. Absolutely. I agree. I agree. Very

Angela Gennari: interesting. So, um, I've really enjoyed this. This has been so fun and I've really enjoyed talking to you, Leah, but one more question.

[00:54:00] What do you wish more people knew?

Aleya Harris: I wish more people knew that they were divine.

Both: Mm.

Aleya Harris: That you are having a human experience, but you truly are a divine being. Who is connected to every other divine being. So give yourself and your humanity grace. Look at yourself and the things that you're doing that are fallible as the way that you would look at a child who is learning.

Both: Mm-hmm. My

Aleya Harris: 2-year-old trips and falls or you know, eats and food gets on the floor. I'm don't, oh, you're horrible, right? How dare you? Oh, you're an idiot. No, I don't do that. I'm like, oh, food's on the floor. She's learning.

Both: Mm-hmm.

Aleya Harris: You and your humanity are a lot younger than you give yourself credit for.

Both: I don't

Aleya Harris: care how old you are in human age, you could be a hundred years old, but you as a human [00:55:00] is so much younger than you as a divine being.

The divine being that lives eternally within yourself. So look at yourself with so much grace. The grace that you would of a child, the child that is just trying to figure it out with blinders on. With, without the ability to fully access that divinity at all points in time. And that is unfortunately part of the human experience.

Both: Yeah.

Aleya Harris: So grace and divinity is what I wish people would, would know more about themselves.

Angela Gennari: Oh, that's beautiful. Well, thank you so much Aaliyah. You have just been so much fun to talk to. So yes, thank you for having me. Absolutely. Where can people find you?

Aleya Harris: You can find me@aleahharris.com, A-L-E-Y-A-H-A-R-R-I s.com.

And there you can buy my book. You can listen to my podcast. You can sign up for Spark the Stage to become a [00:56:00] speaker. That's at aleah harris.com/spark where you can schedule a call with me to sign up and we can talk all about your goals and make sure that this is a good fit for you. So aleah harris.com.

That's where you can find me.

Angela Gennari: Awesome. I appreciate it. Well, thank you again for your time. It's been, um, a great conversation and you can also find Aleah on pretty powerful podcast.com. We'll make sure all of her links are there. So, um, please check us out next time and I hope everyone has the most amazing day ever.

Bye-bye.

Intro: Thank you for joining our guests on the pretty powerful podcast. And we hope you've gained new insight and learned from exceptional women. Remember to subscribe or check out this and all episodes on pretty powerful podcast.com. Visit us next time and until then, step into your own power.