Episode 126: Amy Vale

Amy Vale

Intro: [00:00:00] Welcome to the Pretty powerful podcast where powerful women are interviewed every week to share real inspiring stories. And incredible insight to help women or anyone break the barriers, be a part of innovation, shatter the glass ceiling, and dominate to the top of their sport industry, or life's mission.

Join us as we celebrate exceptional women and step into our power. And now here's your host, Angela Gennari.

Angela Gennari: Hello, welcome to another episode of the Pretty Powerful podcast. My name is Angela Gennari, and today I'm here with Amy Vale. Hi Amy. Hi there. How you doing? I'm doing so good. So, Amy Vale is the founder of For of the Cubs, a company providing quality essentials for young children while supporting kids in foster care.

After undergoing foster care training, Amy knew she found a gap in the market and created. For the Cubs hero product, Percy Awaited plush Bear named [00:01:00] after her late grandfather, which embodies her mission to provide comfort and belonging to every child. What an amazing mission. I love that.

Amy Vale: Thank you so much.

Yeah, it's, it's a very rewarding business to be building, that's for sure.

Angela Gennari: Absolutely. So what made you wanna get into this, this is, is a very unique niche. So tell me a little bit about the story.

Amy Vale: Yes, I think. I knew I had always wanted to start my own business. Um, I've always been very entrepreneurial. Um, but I think a big thing for me was the timing and the idea was always not quite there.

Um, so for the Cubs was a culmination of moments intersecting with each other. Wow. And I think that's sort of how it all, all came to be. And I knew that it was, it was time to take the leap. Mm-hmm. Because starting a business is. Very much taking a leap, especially if you're self-funding.

Both: Mm-hmm.

Amy Vale: Um, so. It was [00:02:00] really a case of moving to Austin.

Mm-hmm. Uh, in Texas and finding that there was space, uh, for us in our family to focus on what that could look like because we had moved from New York where there was no space for anything but working. Yeah.

Angela Gennari: Yeah. That's kind of how New York is built.

Amy Vale: Correct. So it was really nice to sort of. Look at our life and say, wow, there, there really is some space.

But, um, I had never had the desire to have a biological child of my own. Mm-hmm. And I had always wanted to adopt because adoption was a big part of my growing up in that I watched, um, a family be created through adoption and just really, it impacted me in the way that it affords opportunity, even though adoption is grounded in loss, um, I.

It opens up opportunity, uh, for that child to flourish. And that was really, really powerful for me. So my husband and I did, uh, an orientation for foster care training and it just felt right. Mm-hmm. [00:03:00] Um, so as I was going through that, learning that, uh, in the training module, um, around caring for kiddos from hard places, they said that we need eight to 12 hugs a day for emotional wellbeing as humans.

And that was the start I'd never heard before. I found really fascinating, um, and really connects to that idea of like, we all just really want to belong. Yeah. We all want a place that we feel safe and accepted and that has something that's always been really important to me and again, ties back to adoption and really that impact.

And I also thought that it was really interesting that belonging starts at home with your parents. Mm-hmm. They're nurturing you through eating, sleeping, and soothing, and making sure you have those essentials to feel safe, stable, um, and be able to grow. So as I was thinking through this, this stat or this insight around needing eight to 12 hugs a day, it's [00:04:00] like, man, that could really help a lot of people.

Both: Me.

Amy Vale: So I designed. Um, Percy, the, the weighted hug bear, um, to mimic a hug. Um, so his weight is distributed in his paws and in his body, whereas a lot of other weighted toys, all of their weight is centralized in their body. Mm-hmm. Which is great and certainly helpful, but doesn't necessarily do the job of mimicking a hug.

Both: Mm-hmm.

Amy Vale: Um, and so at the same time that I was starting to dig into the product development of Percy. My grandfather passed away and he was very much my person as a child that made me feel accepted and felt like I belonged. And so I wanted a way to honor him. And so the name Percy was his nickname, um, that my nana, who he was married to for 50 years gave him.

So I thought that was a lovely way to honor him. Um, and when I thought about that idea of, again, the role of building belonging starts at home, um. [00:05:00] I focused on eat, sleep, and soothe as the categories that I would offer for the brand. Um, and as we've grown, it's, it's really started to culminate that. Percy is some something that really is helping people of all ages, not just kiddos.

And so the beautiful part is that I set out to help parents and kiddos, um, with this product and the brand. And I'm finding that I'm actually helping people of all ages with Percy, which is just such a gift and an honor to be able to serve everyone who needs a hug at the end of the day.

Angela Gennari: Absolutely. And there's so much of that.

I mean, even in our adult world, like we're, you know, with, with COVID, we've become so disconnected from other human beings and I feel like that has led to a lot more depression and a lot more anxiety and social situations. And you know, when we remove that human element of connection. It really is hard on our psyche and we have to figure out a way to get around that.

So I love that you are doing something that not just benefits the [00:06:00] children, but also like you said, everybody, because we're all losing human connection day by day. Absolutely. And so between all the remote work and. You know, so I don't see social things happening anymore, right? Like I used to, my very first business ever when I was in my twenties was business networking and getting out and I mean, there was so many options of things to do.

Like every night you could go do something, you know, some kind of networking event, some kind of, you know, in-person engagement. You don't see that anymore. I mean, like restaurants are half full, are half empty, so it's like, yeah, you just don't see that kind of connection anymore since Covid. Um, I think that was one of the biggest detriments.

I mean, of course you have the health is issue, but it's that human connection and, um, I think losing that, um, just changed who we are as, you know, as, as human beings because we have to have that human connection, or we're not, you know, we're not as productive and engaged as we should be. Absolutely couldn't agree more.

Yeah. So, um, I love this story so much [00:07:00] and I have a, you know, a personal connection to this because I actually had wanted to adopt from foster care. Um, so when I, I was married and, you know, we had, had a biological son and, and he's beautiful and you know, but we were trying for our second child and my husband at the time was diagnosed with.

Stage four cancer or stage three B cancer. And so it ended up being, um, much more difficult to have a baby. We didn't freeze any eggs or sperm because the doctor told us, oh, this is the best cancer to have. He'll be cured in six months. Don't worry, it'll be fine. You know, just wait a year to have a baby and you'll be fine.

It's like, okay. 'cause he was fairly young. We were young, we were in our twenties at the time. So, um, anyway, so we, we didn't free sperm. We just thought this would just be a quick, you know, six month of chemotherapy and then he's good to go. And, and that did not turn out to be the case. Um, he ended up having to have a stem cell transplant, which made him sterile.

Gosh. And so we could not have any more children. And it had [00:08:00] always been my desire to want to adopt. Um, and I didn't wanna adopt a baby. I wanted to adopt a child from foster care. Um, just because, you know, I have, um, my degree is in psychology and specifically child psychology, and I just know the, the.

Impact that being in foster care has for children and how horrible it is when children are bounced from place to place to place and they never feel chosen, they never feel like they belong. It's really disruptive. And then you look at the, you know, the system in the US where, um, I think it's something like the statistic is something like 80% of all incarcerated individuals in the US prison system are former foster care children.

So. Yeah, that tracks. Yeah. Yeah. So it's, it's horrible because you get out of this foster care system at 18 and if you don't have a support system, you're homeless immediately because you have no, there's no support for you once you turn 18. [00:09:00] Um, my sister, excuse me, my mother was raised in a, in an environment where she was in a group home setting.

Mm-hmm. Um, you know, again, no fault of her own, she wasn't, you know, it was her, her mother had passed away when she was really young. Mm-hmm. And at the end of that. It was, okay, happy birthday, you're 18, get out. Yeah. Like you have, if you don't have anywhere to go, you're on the streets and then you're trying to figure out how to feed yourself.

And then, you know, crime creeps in and you know, it just is a horrible, vicious cycle. And, um, I think we need to be more aware of what the foster care system is doing and how we. Can step in and, and make a difference in these children's lives because they're not there because they did something wrong.

Yeah, they're, they're there because somebody did something wrong to them. Right. Like somebody had failed them. And so yeah, we need to step up, you know, as a society and take care of these children who have been failed by other adults.

Amy Vale: I couldn't agree with you more. I think that's the, the challenge with foster care is that [00:10:00] it.

It's so misunderstood.

Both: Mm-hmm.

Amy Vale: People, when we first started, um, the process for training and I would tell people, and I was so excited that this was something that I was doing, um, and people would always relay the worst of the worst stories. Oh, my so and so. Their kid did X, Y, and Z, and they, you know, like just really scary stuff.

Both: Mm-hmm.

Amy Vale: The thing that was really striking to me was that there wasn't a full appreciation of the fact that they're not in foster care through any fault of their own.

Both: Mm-hmm.

Amy Vale: And nine times out of 10, their parent has been in foster care as well. And so Exactly. They're reliving these generational traumas and the struggle is really how do we.

Not only repair community who has struggled through various policy changes and how that impacts community.

Both: Mm-hmm.

Amy Vale: But also very much [00:11:00] focusing on. The specific child. Mm-hmm. Because oftentimes it can get really lost because there's certain policies where some counties operate that it is reunification at all costs because they want to be able to point to the data of how their system is better because they have this reunification rate.

However, when that means returning children to very dangerous, very unsafe environments, whether it be physically, emotionally, mentally. That is going to create a perpetual cycle where that system will always be over capacity. And so my wish probably the same as yours, Angela, is to really help people understand the role they can play in helping their community repair and also impact future generations.

Mm-hmm. And that's something that really sticks with me, that the care that I'm providing to the kiddos that are with me. Will not only help them, but it could potentially change the course of the next generation that comes from [00:12:00] that, and that feels really powerful to me. Mm-hmm.

Angela Gennari: Well, and you know, you're, you're absolutely right that the system sometimes isn't designed to actually help kids.

Um, and that's what we found too. Like we, you know, we went through the whole foster care orientation system. I was, I was adamant like, I will adopt siblings. I don't care if it's three, I don't care if it's four. Like, we want a family, we don't wanna break up any children. Like we were totally open, you know, any age.

Zero to 18. Like we were really, really open to, there are no boundaries, you know, match us with kids who need a good family. Um, but our son at the time was four or five years old. They kept saying, we won't match you with any children over the age of your biological child because we're afraid that if something happens, then you're gonna reject the, the foster children.

And, you know, like they were afraid of any kind of abuse. And I'm like, I, I understand that, but as a parent, if I'm not concerned about it, you shouldn't be concerned about it. Like. I would have [00:13:00] oversight. I'm not just gonna, you know, throw the kids to the wolves and be like, figure it out kids. You know, like, you have to understand, like, and I'm like, but, but we, we, we had a nationwide search and, and it took, it was two years.

And in two years we never got matched with a single child. And it's unfortunate because, I mean, we were really, I was ready. I mean, we did everything we were supposed to do and, um, never got matched with a single child after two years. And that's when we finally said, okay, that's wow. Yeah. So, and it's really crazy because, you know, we were, we were completely open to anything and they said, well, you know, you're gonna have a really hard time.

And they told us this from the beginning because your child is young and you know, you're. Your child. We won't put a child in your home that's older than your child. And, um, as a result, we're probably not gonna match you with anybody because, you know, in order to be available for adoption, we have to have terminated the child's parents' parental rights.

And if we've done that, usually that process [00:14:00] takes two to five years. And because we will continue to try to reunify, reunify, reunify. Mm-hmm. Now the other. Tragic part of this is, um, I have been on the sys, uh, um, involved with the juvenile. Justice system as well, which is equally broken. Mm-hmm. Um, so in my, when I was in college and studying, um, child psychology, I did my internship with the Department of Juvenile Justice and I was the social worker doing psychosocial assessments of the parents and then also talking with the children.

And I would have to do home visits and I would have to, you know, counsel children while they were incarcerated. And it just was, it was heartbreaking because so many of the parents are just. They shouldn't be parents. They, let's just be honest. I'll just say, just be honest. They shouldn't be parents, um, because they're, you know, they're in a life of drugs and crime and abuse and they don't have any interest in changing.

They really don't. Yeah. And so, you know, it comes time to release a child, you know, the child [00:15:00] has. Gone into the, the system for some, usually a fairly minor offense. Um, and they, you know, I, it's time for their release date and I have to do an interview and then I have to weigh the option. Do I send 'em back into a, in a home where I know there's drugs and I know that there's abuse happening, do I send 'em back there and say, you're released, or do I keep 'em incarcerated?

Knowing that they at least have three meals a day in a bed, you know? And it's like, yeah, you don't wanna choose incarceration for a child ever, but at the same time, you have to weigh what is worse for that child's future. And, um, you know, I've seen situations where, um, a 13-year-old boy had been incarcerated and his younger sister, who was nine years old, went and did something.

And it was not her character, but she went and did something to break the law because he was her protector. And at home there was so much abuse that she was like, I just need to be with my brother. And so it was anything she could do to get out of the [00:16:00] house because he was not there to protect her anymore.

Oh, that's devastating. And they're not doing anything to the parents, you know? And that's what's really sad.

Amy Vale: Yeah. I think that's the, the struggle is just. The under appreciation for the support and resources that parents desperately need. Mm-hmm.

Both: Mm-hmm.

Amy Vale: To understand how to create safe environments, because unfortunately, the trauma they've experienced is informing their choices.

Right. And healthy people raise their kids. Right. Unhealthy people often can't. And when you think about it from that context, do you think like, are they physically healthy? But in this context. Unhealthy means looking at a normal as though watching parents fight watching. Inappropriate things happen in the home, not having food, not having shelter, not having utilities, that's their normal.

Mm-hmm. And that is stressful and traumatic to begin with. And so when you are not rallying around [00:17:00] families to give them resources to say, this is the norm.

Both: Mm-hmm. It,

Amy Vale: it is normal for your child to eat three meals a day. It is normal for you to be expected to supervise your child

Both: mm-hmm. Until

Amy Vale: a certain age.

Like those are things that are. Uncharted territory for a lot of parents that are connected to the foster care system and the juvenile justice system. And that is the heartbreaking part, that they're, they're, look, the system is looking at repairing families, but they're not giving this the resources and support.

And frankly, it doesn't, the length of a foster care case is normally 12 months. I ideally, mm-hmm. Um, that's not enough time to repair decades of trauma. Mm mm So that's where it's like these, there's so many flaws and it's so hard to navigate, but this is what people are missing when they're looking at foster care.

Un unfortunately, the kids are the ones that are getting their stories shared.

Angela Gennari: Yeah.

Amy Vale: About how [00:18:00] troubled they are and how difficult they are, and the dangerous things that they do. As opposed to the lack of resources and support around these fa first families that have experienced generations of trauma of their own.

Mm-hmm. And that the way they're living is their normal and there's nothing there to help them understand or learn in a meaningful long-term way. There is a different option if they put the work in, because oftentimes the distance between where they're at and where they need to be just feels

Angela Gennari: too much.

Right? Right, exactly. And you know, I, I hear it all the time from people who say, you know, well, I, this is the way I raised my, this is how I was raised, so this is all I know. And I feel like you can use that as an excuse until you're about 25, and then once you're 25, you can't. You can no longer say, this is all I know, because you've had the opportunity to learn.

Right? And so I do agree with you that we need to, we need to give more resources. We need to have [00:19:00] classes, we need to have education. You know, if we're gonna be on TikTok all day, I. Make it a, a resource for them. You know, something that they'll learn from not just, you know, conspiracies and, and craziness, but you know, really something that they can engage with.

And, you know, we just have to figure out how to reach people where they are and not expecting them to come to us. 'cause they're not gonna come to us, right? Like they're not gonna come seek those resources. Generally, you need to go to them. And so we just need to find the right avenues, um, to meet people where they are.

And sometimes where they are is in a really challenging, you know, position in life where, you know, they, they have a lot of, um, beliefs that are not true. Um, you know that the kids will be fine. They'll work it out, you know, and the kids will not be fine. You know, we, we have to make it fine. We have to give them those, those, uh, you know, the ability and the life skills to be able to navigate life.

And life is challenging and we have to be able to set people up for [00:20:00] success. Absolutely

Amy Vale: couldn't

Angela Gennari: agree more. So, your foster experience, I love that you say, um, so you are the sell of Percy. Mm-hmm. Uh, sales of Percy go to help foster care. How does that, how does that happen?

Amy Vale: Yeah, so it's actually every order.

So you can, anything that you, uh, purchase from for the Cubs. Mm-hmm. Exposed towards supporting kids in foster care and we partner with One Simple Wish. Mm-hmm. Um, they're our nonprofit partner and the reason that I chose one Simple Wish was because the customer gets to see the impact on the exact child that they have helped.

So, oh, that's wonderful. Every quarter I go in and I grant wishes for kiddos on behalf of our customers. And I will send an update to everyone that has shopped, um, so that they can see the kids and see their stories and see the simple things that they're asking for.

Both: Mm-hmm.

Amy Vale: In one of the most difficult times in their life, [00:21:00] kids don't have, I.

Any control, frankly, when they're in foster care, there is a group of adults that are making decisions about their life and the amount of control they have is very, very limited. Mm-hmm. And so giving a child an opportunity to think and wish big and know that there is an adult in the world that is saying, yes, keep doing that.

Here is your wish. Yeah. That to me is so important because the more that we can empower kiddos who have experienced foster care and let them know through whatever means necessary, that there are people that are cheering for them from afar.

Angela Gennari: Yeah.

Amy Vale: It can just be that little push that can help them keep their mind open and see that there are possibilities in the world that don't mean trauma and struggle and lack of control.

Mm-hmm. And my hope. Those are the types of wishes that we're granting and they can be anything from the most simple thing like we granted one wish for a little girl who wanted rice cakes. Rice [00:22:00] crackers for snacks at bedtime. I was like, oh wow. How is she wishing for this? Like, this shouldn't be a wish.

Yeah. Mm-hmm. But that's what she wished for. So that's what we granted. And then there's things like a mattress. I was like, this child needs a mattress. Like I'm sure our customers would really want this kiddo to have a mattress to sleep on. And so it's those kinds of things where I'm like, these kids shouldn't be questioning whether they can have a mattress or rice cakes.

Snack or a snack like. So those are the things that I feel. Are really important to sort of help bridge the gap of that mindset that so many people have about kids who are in the foster care system and reframe that to what the experience really looks like, which is, this is so and so. They're three years old.

They really miss their brother, who's also in another foster home. Mm-hmm. Bluey and they just want a bedspread that's going to go on their bed because their sibling has a, a bluey bedspread as well and will help them feel closer. [00:23:00] Like, that's the story we wanna tell. It's not that they did something really scary and so don't like get involved in foster care.

'cause it's, it's pretty dark and heavy. It is pretty dark and heavy because. That's why they're in foster care. They were in a very dark and heavy place to begin with and that's what they're being removed from. Yeah. But if we can reframe the child's experience

Both: mm-hmm. And

Amy Vale: really help people understand that they're making an impact just by shopping it for the Cubs.

Both: Mm-hmm.

Amy Vale: That is to me, a, a win because we need to talk more about foster care. We do. Absolutely. That's accessible and real.

Angela Gennari: Yeah. Well, and if people only knew, right? Because you just kind of assume like, oh, well they're taken care of. Right. Because the state has them and they're properly vetting all of the foster care parents, but they're really not because there's not enough social workers to go do home visits.

Well, like to, to be really, um, effective. Mm-hmm. And so you get a lot of people who slip through the cracks, you know? Very bad [00:24:00] people in, in the foster care system as, as foster care parents. Mm-hmm. Um, you know, who know how to manipulate the system. And, um, and it's tragic and this is why there's so much abuse and there's, you know, so much trauma to these children.

Yeah. You know, aside from the fact that they're being ripped away from their, their home, you know, they're also sometimes dealing with abuse and neglect and everything else. But, you know, it's simple things like you were saying, like the rice cakes and a bedspread. You know, most foster kids, when they're going from place to place, they're given a trash bag, right?

Yeah. Like, put all your clothes in a trash bag. What symbol, what does that tell you? Right? Like, if I'm a child and I'm told to put all of my things in a trash bag, I am now trash. Right? And so you, you equate that, you know, something as simple as a trash bag. You know, for all of your belongings, like that is what your life is reduced to, is what can fit into this trash bag.

That is what I have. And then, you know, you have, you know, a lot of them will, like I said, age outta the [00:25:00] system and become homeless. And if we haven't provided resources for them and they don't have a support system. That trash bag doesn't feel so foreign to them because they've lived out of a trash bag, you know, their entire childhood, and now they're, they're homeless and you know, they're in a situation where they've never been chosen, they've never felt like they belonged anywhere.

And so now they're, you know, in a, in a situation where it just is spiraling down. So we have to talk about foster care. We have to, we have to get involved. These are children who, you know, we can provide them with the future. We just have to make the effort and we have to be aware of it. And we have to make, you know, the, the true real steps to improve the system.

The system is really broken and we have to do more to Yeah, to bring it back. Um, you know, I think focusing on the children is half the battle. We need to focus on the administration even more.

Amy Vale: Absolutely. I think that's the challenge. Uh, oftentimes when we talk about the system being broken, it [00:26:00] feels like it.

It's. Impossible to make a difference. Mm-hmm.

Both: Mm-hmm.

Amy Vale: And one of the ways that I think about being a foster parent is I don't have a legal voice in the case.

Both: Mm-hmm.

Amy Vale: But I can tell you right now that I write very detailed emails to any child that's in my care about their behavior, how they're going, the detail.

Because oftentimes, I think. You feel powerless as a foster parent because you don't have a legal voice, but you don't necessarily need the legal voice to have a legal impact.

Both: Mm-hmm.

Amy Vale: Because that is something that I know with some teams, they will get annoyed with me because I provide so much detail, but I will keep doing that because this is their life, right?

Like they are making decisions about this child's future. You need to understand as the team responsible for their future. How they're behaving after a visit, if they're struggling with something, if they [00:27:00] need extra services, if there is an opportunity for more visits with family because it's nurturing and helpful to them.

And that's the thing. I think the, the more that I sort of think about my role as a foster parent, not only am I focused on creating a safe environment, but I'm also advocating for the child and the family when I can see that there's safe. Experiences to be had.

Both: Mm-hmm.

Amy Vale: But also to challenge the thinking of the team because oftentimes, unfortunately, they're very overloaded and it's not an excuse, but when you are skating on thin ice all day, you are literally trying to work through everything that you have to do for every case.

And oftentimes, sometimes, like they're carrying like 10, 15, 20 cases. Yeah. If not more. Mm-hmm. And that's a lot of responsibility for a social worker to manage. And I think the thing that I, I wish that would be considered [00:28:00] more as opposed to checking those boxes and moving through that process is to allow for foster parents maybe not to have a legal role, but to have play a stronger role.

Mm-hmm. Because I can tell you right now, I would, whatever I needed to do to support. My foster child's caseworker and make it easier for them, I would do, because I'm spending every single day with them. That's right. So I think exactly there's opportunity to support the system that is broken, while also really sort of challenging some of the status quo, because ultimately every child's team, it's really, really difficult because.

The, the difference in their future can be completely dependent on the team and not the system. Yes. There are some folks that just show up and do their job and cash their check, and there are some folks that go the extra mile. Mm-hmm. And I've, I've experienced [00:29:00] cases on every level of that. Yeah. And the difference that it makes in how they approach the child and the impact not just right now, but into the future and what.

The adult outcomes look like. That's where like we get to start to sort of reframe how the system looks.

Both: Mm-hmm.

Amy Vale: And the other thing is that I initially came into foster care thinking that I was supporting a child that needed a safe place in a very hard period of their life. And now I look at foster care as I'm supporting families in the community because those parents are.

Needing some time to work on themselves, and I'm going to create a safe space so that they know their child is safe with me. Yeah, and I think the difference can really reframe the relationship that foster parents and first families have and create that tighter bond because there are kiddos that we still have relationships with them and their families because we've [00:30:00] created that and we don't want them to feel like they're on their own.

That's amazing. In this process.

Angela Gennari: Yeah. That's amazing. Well, and I wish more people had that perspective because I think what you're doing is all the right things, right? So when you go into this process, if you look at it as, I wanna be part of the good right part of what's, what's going to be good and what's gonna be memorable in a positive way for these children and for the parents, because no parent wants to.

Feel like, you know, they're, they're not a suitable enough parent to be able to raise their own child. Right. Like, that's devastating. Mm-hmm. And so if you look at, you know, what the parents are being put through too, and you're right, some of 'em are dealing with some really tragic circumstances. You know, there are sometimes it's, you know.

Um, one parent is trying to leave an abusive situation and they know it's a bad situation, but they're financially dependent on that person or, you know, there's some kind of other issue. And so it's not that they're out there making bad choices. They made a choice to be with somebody who was not good for them or not good for their children.

That person has either abused [00:31:00] them or abused their children in front of them, and you know, and so now they're having to figure out, how do I get out of this? Toxic relationship that they, you know, and, and I've been in a, in an abusive relationship where, you know, you know, it's the right thing to do to leave.

But there could be a fear financially, there could be a fear of them retaliating and coming back to hurt you or hurting your family. And there's also the, the trauma response that we have, you know, that trauma bond that we've mm-hmm. We now have because we've been in this abusive relationship. So it is challenging and there's so much more.

And sometimes you have to put yourself in the, the other person's shoes and say, you know. How can I help them to get to where they want to be or where they need to be? And so supporting the parents as well as the children is sometimes really a, um, the integral part of, of really solving the problem for the family altogether.

Absolutely. And children generally, no matter what the parent is doing, children just have this, you know, they want to be with their parents, [00:32:00] right? And so it is really hard because even though you're looking at a parent and you're like, oh my gosh, why doesn't she get it together? Why doesn't, you know, why doesn't he, you know.

Stop drinking. Why does, you know, why don't they do this? But the children still love them. You know, the children still idolize them, they're still their parents. And so absolutely, you just, the bond is still there. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So, you know, it's as bad as a parent can be sometimes in terms of like their actions and their behaviors and their choices, a child is still usually gonna gravitate towards wanting to be with their parent.

Amy Vale: Absolutely

Angela Gennari: no doubt. So, um, and, and I, I strongly believe that it really just sometimes takes one person, it takes one person caring about them to change the trajectory of their life. Absolutely.

Amy Vale: Yep. And I, I think that's the thing that maybe a little bit daunting for people when it comes to thinking about being a foster parent, um, is.

[00:33:00] Showing up and being enough. That was something that I worried about. I was like, these kids deserve so much, and am I gonna be enough because I'm not their mom. Mm-hmm. And I want to give them everything that they need, want, wish for, to give them opportunity. All of those things. And one of the things I think about is what could people do that isn't?

The commitment of being a foster parent because it is a very big commitment, not only from a financial perspective, but also from a resource and time perspective.

Both: Mm-hmm.

Amy Vale: Um, there is a lot of documentation. There is a lot of inspections, there is a lot of visits. It's just a lot of time. Um, and depending on the case, it can be as much as a part-time job.

Mm-hmm.

Both: Um,

Amy Vale: so if it's, that feels daunting, which I appreciate very much is. Is there a world where we can help people understand more on how to [00:34:00] connect with kids that are experienced foster care? Like on the other end of the spectrum where all it takes is teaching your child how to support a child who is experiencing foster care and help them feel like they are safe and they are accepted and that they belong.

That will go a really, really long way in changing that child's life. Absolutely.

Both: I think

Amy Vale: there's not enough education around how kids can support kids experiencing foster care.

Both: Mm-hmm.

Amy Vale: Because that acceptance of your peers is so important, and I think it can be really isolating for kids in foster care.

So thinking about like the spectrums of this being a foster parent and this being completely removed from child welfare. If there is a way that we can have more conversation around how we rally around a child who's experiencing that, or a family that's experiencing that mm-hmm. That will make all the difference in how we start to [00:35:00] improve the system from the outside

Angela Gennari: in.

Absolutely. Well, and you're exactly right. I mean, sometimes the, the biggest trauma is, you know, a child moving from school to school to school. So even if their foster experience has been okay and they're getting regular visits with their parents, their biological parents, they're still moving around a lot and having to make new friends and, you know, wondering if people are judging you.

And then just, you know, just teaching our kids to have an accepting and welcoming, uh, nature to, to not. Feel like, you know, yeah, that person's different than me, right? Because like, well, they're new and I don't know them yet, and we don't have the same friends. It's like, well, welcome them in and see how, see what happens.

And you'd be amazed at what can flourish from that. Right? Sometimes it's just somebody giving you just a warm smile to, you know, and, and, you know, letting you sit with them at lunch. You know, just something as, as basic as, you know, providing that safe space at school too, because school is very. Daunting.

You know, it's, it's very, yeah. [00:36:00] Um, can be very intimidating for children.

Amy Vale: Yeah, absolutely. And that's something I think about right now. Um, our current placement will be going into starting school this coming new year. Mm-hmm. And I'm just like thinking about what, what am I going to do to be able to help her?

Navigate that, change, another change. Um, so I think that would be something that as a foster parent, I would love to see biological parents, um, be able to really sort of embrace that part of foster care.

Angela Gennari: So what do you think we can be doing? You know, 'cause if we can't, like, you know, for me, I, I. I'm a single parent now, you know, and, and I think all the time, like I really wish I could go back in and do the foster thing.

But you know, as a single parent it is challenging 'cause I work a lot and I travel and it's like, well then who would be here? You know, while I'm gone and while I'm traveling and I don't have anyone else to be a support system at home. [00:37:00] And so I wanna make a difference. So I've started, um. Uh, advocacy classes.

So I wanna be a child advocate because at least I can be their voice. Right? Yeah. If I can't raise them, I can't be their safe space at home. Maybe I can be their voice in court. Right? Yep. And so, but what, what other ways do you think we can support foster families? I.

Amy Vale: There's so, honestly, so many ways. One of them is certainly being a casa.

Um, and being a part of you, you will have a legal voice in that child's future. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Um, which is pretty powerful. Um, and oftentimes Casa can become that one light. Yeah. That the child is really looking towards. So being a CASA is certainly, um, one opportunity. You can become a babysitter if you approach a local child placing agency and offer to go through the trainings that are required mm-hmm.

To support foster families that have placements. Oftentimes foster parents just [00:38:00] need a, a little tiny break. Yeah, just a little bit of a breath. And that couple hours can make all the difference. So if you are offering to become a babysitter, it's really just helping out those foster families so they can keep doing what they're doing.

Both: Mm-hmm. Um.

Amy Vale: And those types of involvements are very low commitment. Mm-hmm. Um, comparatively speaking to being a foster parent. Um, also just supporting organizations like One Simple Wish mm-hmm. Can make a really big difference because you can see the impact you're making to the exact child that you are granting the wish for.

Both: Mm-hmm.

Amy Vale: Um, and while yes, you may not meet them and you won't get to know their full background, for me, like it's rewarding to know that. I'm making a difference in that child's life and that they know someone has shown up for them. So absolutely, it's really, really dependent on the, the level of time commitment that you have.

Um, mm-hmm. I think just simply being a baby sister, baby sister [00:39:00] babysitter for, um, a child placing agency and being that resource to foster families can be incredible and looking into becoming a CASA for them because you will have a really strong voice in court and the judge does place a lot of weight on the CASA advocates.

Um, word.

Angela Gennari: Absolutely. Well, I love that you've offered so many great suggestions because I think people want to help innately, sometimes they just don't know how, and so, you know, just, just being a voice of like, this is, I'm a foster parent and this is what would help me, I think goes a long way. So thank you for that.

And thank you for all that you're doing for, for foster children. I think that's amazing. So just to pivot into your business now, um, tell me with Percy, what challenges and obstacles did you have to overcome in starting your business?

Amy Vale: Many, I know. Where do I start? Uhhuh. Um, I think [00:40:00] the glamorization of starting a business.

Is really not cool. Uh, yeah, because there's so many times that the industry sort of talks about like how they like scaled and they, you know, crushing these crazy revenue goals and they just found instant success. And there's, there's no talk about the struggle. There's no talk about the 45,000 iterations you go through to get to that winning thing.

There's no talk about the time it takes when you don't have millions of dollars of VC money. It's one of those things that I think, even though I have been a part of plenty of startups in my career

Both: mm-hmm.

Amy Vale: And they've all, but they've all had VC money. And so when I'm sitting at my desk, in my office, at my home and I'm like looking at like, what's the next thing I need to do in this business to keep it [00:41:00] moving forward?

I have to remember it's me and it's my money. And it's a very different mindset that you have to create, especially coming from that environment where the idea of like scale and growth at all costs. It's a totally different story, and I'm not building this for a quick exit. I'm building this for a long to build a valuable brand.

The marketplace that makes a difference and that's gonna take time because I don't think VCs would be aligned with my philosophy on oftentimes giving back more than I probably should. Yeah. So those are the types of things where I've like definitively chosen not to raise traditional VC money because I don't want to be forced to go up into the right over every quarter.

Simply because I have some super rich folk who are demanding that [00:42:00] of me, right? That doesn't feel like the nature of the brand. It doesn't align with my values. And so that learning curve, that was the thing that was probably the hardest, yeah. Was really having that mind shift. I knew I had made those decisions.

But I had to really sort of accept the different approach, which is time and experimentation and testing things and talking to customers and being really connected with the people that I was serving. Um, because that really showed me different perspectives that I hadn't considered. Um, and so I think that's the piece that those were the, the challenges that sort of.

Wasn't like a big, this thing broke and had to fix it. It was like every day chipping away at how am I going to reach more people and serve more people. Um, and that was a slow, and it like sort of sustained effort. It wasn't something that just like the numbers went crazy overnight and coming [00:43:00] from VC backed environments, that's what they're looking for.

Yeah. So it's like reprogramming the approach was the biggest learning.

Angela Gennari: Well, and for me, I have felt the exact same way. You know, when I first started my company, you know, I had an idea and a vision on how I wanted to create the right kind of staffing company and the right kind of support for my employees and the right kind of, you know, growth.

And it wasn't a hockey stick, right? Like it was gonna be a slow burn and I was gonna keep reinvesting money back into the company and no investor wants to hear that. No investor. They, they don't wanna hear that you wanna do a slow burn and have a sustainable company, right? Like they want immediate results and at all costs.

And they weren't gonna be in a, in alignment with what I wanted to spend to have good employees. They weren't gonna be in alignment with, you know, taking on training and not, you know, charging the clients for it and doing the right thing and providing them resources and higher pay than average. Like, that wasn't gonna be in alignment.

And so I really quickly learned. That if I was [00:44:00] going to do this, I had to do it myself and I had to bootstrap it. And bootstrapping is hard, is so hard, isn't it? And it takes incredible patience and like you just have to be, every day you feel like you're getting gut punched and you just gotta get back up and do it again.

And get back up and do it again. And it's so hard. But, um, but it teaches you so many lessons in business about what, what matters and what doesn't. And, um, you know, 10 years in, we're still, we're still, um, independent, no investors, so, you know, and we're doing fine. We're doing just fine. So, um, but those first couple years were rough.

They were really, really rough.

Amy Vale: Yep. And so makes you question

Angela Gennari: it.

Amy Vale: Yeah, it's, it's really hard. But I think that's the thing. The more that you can persevere mm-hmm. And stay the course and just make little steps each day. Yeah. Those end up adding up.

Angela Gennari: Absolutely. So, um, so as you were building your business, um, you know, did you [00:45:00] make that decision pretty quickly early on to say, I'm gonna donate to foster care, um, support from the beginning?

Was that part of your initial business plan, or did that come through later?

Amy Vale: No. That was always a part of the business plan because a big learning for me as I was going through the foster care training was the need. Yeah. There are so many kids mm-hmm. That need good foster families to mm-hmm. Keep them safe and stable and make the experience more positive.

Yeah. While they're away from their families and we take one child at a time because. You don't know what needs the child is going to have.

Both: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Amy Vale: And the thing that I want the child to experience when they're in our care is that they feel safe. They know they have access to me at all times.

Both: Mm-hmm. And that

Amy Vale: I'll be there when they need me. Like really simple things. But I want to make sure that that is available. So knowing what my capacity is, building a business.

Both: Mm-hmm.

Amy Vale: I really wanted to figure out [00:46:00] how can I help more kids in foster care that. Truly just like they deserve more people showing up for them.

And while I can't do it in my home, I'm, I don't have the capacity to do that because I focus on one child at a time so I can give them everything they need. This was a way for me to be able to have that impact at a a larger scale.

Angela Gennari: Scale. I love it. Um, so. Um, clearly what you're doing is very inspiring, so thank you for all of that.

But who inspires you? Ooh,

Amy Vale: so many people. Um hmm. That's a good one. I think probably the kids that I care for inspire me a lot just because of. Their strength and resilience and how brave they are knowing their back stories and their [00:47:00] experience and seeing them show up every day. And they're still just kids. Like, yes, they, they struggle and they have their trauma and you know, they need these supports and resources, but they're still kids.

Mm-hmm. They're showing up, doing their very best and I'm constantly inspired by that. Um, these kids are truly amazing and I think that's something that I just wish people knew more about. Um, and so I think they're definitely a source of inspiration. My husband is a source of inspiration. Mm-hmm. He's a professional musician.

And it's funny because I spent my career in corporate America in marketing, uh, and. While it was oftentimes fun, it didn't necessarily bring me joy. Right, right. And he would often say to me like, playing music is my joy. It's, and I hope that you find that one day. Yeah. And that was the thing that when I sort of sit at my desk every day and I like read reviews on the products [00:48:00] of how Percy is helping people, or I get to have conversations like this, I'm like, this is my joy.

Like I finally found it. You know, Uhhuh. My husband has persevered in his career for years and years. And to see him flourish and see his joy expand alongside me finding mine in my work, it's a, it's honestly like, it's really cool to be, have that happening at the same time. So I think he's definitely a source of inspiration.

Mm-hmm. Um, and oftentimes I look to people that have been through the struggle. And sort of come out the other side. Mm-hmm. And I think the, the folks that have had great success in business, while I certainly respect them, often take the different route of VC funding and sort of have that luxury of the safety net.

And so I think I'm always inspired by people that are fighting for their own experience and [00:49:00] their own route. 'cause we need more in American business of. More values based businesses that are doing right by the communities that they serve, as opposed to. The investors that they answer to.

Angela Gennari: Absolutely. Gosh, I can't agree with you more.

You know, as somebody who's bootstrapped every single one of my businesses, I just find that it's so much more rewarding when you build something that you know wasn't handed to you. And, um, and not that it's not e you know, it's not easy to go raise money by any stretch of the imagination, but I, I can't stand this idea that if you, if you build it, they will come.

Right. Like it takes work. It takes work. Mm-hmm. And, you know, you can keep throwing money at a problem, but until you, until you put passion and heart behind that problem, you're not gonna solve it. So, um, throwing money at something doesn't solve problems. So, um, it's a temporary bandaid and I think more people need to know that.

Absolutely. Yeah. Um, so as women, we give [00:50:00] away our power all the time in different ways. Um, so can you tell me about a time that you've given your power away? I. And maybe another time that you've stepped into your power.

Amy Vale: I would say the time that I remember that was very pivotal in my career

Both: mm-hmm.

Amy Vale: Was I had just started a new job.

Um, and it was a big role, um, in a larger company and. I had gone into, it was like maybe six weeks into the job. Mm-hmm. Um, and I went into a meeting where I had asked beforehand, do I need to prepare anything mm-hmm. For this meeting? Mm, no, you're good. Just show up, listen, off you go. And I showed up to the meeting and that same person that told me not to have anything prepared called on me to present an entire plan.

Wow. Wow. And I was literally [00:51:00] paralyzed, like, and the me now would've stood up and said, hold on a second. Yeah. If you let give, afford me a few seconds to bring the receipts up where I can show you that this person had told me not to prepare anything, so I'm happy to reschedule this, but we're not doing this now.

Right. That's what I would've done if it was me now. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. But me. You know, a decade ago. Sure. Yeah. I didn't have the same experience and I didn't have the same confidence and the entire group of people, like just steamrolled over me and my experience in that business for the entire time was ruined by that one interaction because they took it as an opportunity to tear me down and I didn't have the capacity.

To be able to take my power back and say absolutely not. So unbelievable. [00:52:00] And so that was one of those moments in corporate America where I was like, oh, this is what we're doing. Great. Like this is where my, like that was, I think when the like, I need to find my own business. Yeah. Started to sort of come to into my mind because I was just like, this is cool.

Like, yeah. Mm-hmm. And people just operate like that and I just couldn't understand it because. Coming from Australian business, it's very straight down the line. You say it how it is, like there's no politics, there's no corporate espionage, like,

Both: yeah. Yeah. It

Amy Vale: seems silly.

Both: Mm-hmm. Um,

Amy Vale: so I think that was probably one of those pivotal moments where I just, not only did I sort of feel like I had shrunk under the table and just should have just walked out and resigned, like that's how I felt in that moment, but for the entire experience that stripped my power.

The impact I could have offered to that business because if they had have been approached that differently, [00:53:00] I would've added so much more value and impact to that business because I would've felt empowered and supported as opposed to railroaded and. Ignored.

Both: Yeah.

Angela Gennari: Well, and I find that a lot where you have somebody who, if they're threatened or not, they feel like in order to make themselves feel bigger or better, they have to put somebody else down.

Yeah. And I kinda look at it like they're using you as their pedestal, you know, they're gonna stand on you so that they can be higher. And it's just so unfair. And I see that happen to women all the time because you know, we're supposed to. Not stand up for ourselves and kind of be in the corner, just quiet and, and, you know, and, and allow people to say what they want.

And it's just not reality anymore. And we have to, you know, standing in our power is something that I really talk to people a lot about now, but there were many times in my twenties that I gave my power away every single day.

Amy Vale: Oh, absolutely. And then like the most hurtful thing I [00:54:00] think was I was really excited to be working for a woman.

Angela Gennari: Yeah.

Amy Vale: And I sat down with her and I said, I don't know where this meeting went wrong. Like, I'm truly baffled. Sure. And she piled on. Wow. That's crazy. And it was such a big disappointment because I was so excited to, I hadn't had a female leader before and I was really excited. For what I was gonna learn from her, and instead I was really disappointed.

Oh,

Angela Gennari: that's a shame. That's that's not, yeah. Well, and I've experienced that as well, where, um, some women are threatened by somebody who's younger in the office and they feel like, well, you know, I had to bite my way up to the top tooth and nail. So you've gotta do the same thing. And they don't give you that, that, you know, helping hand that they should.

So yeah, it's, it's really a shame. So, um, so this has been really, really insightful. I can't even believe it's already been this long, um, because I feel like I could just keep talking to [00:55:00] you for hours. Um, but I have such respect for what you're doing and, you know, for what you're building both on your, on your business and what you're doing as a foster parent.

Because, you know, like I was saying earlier, sometimes it takes one person, you know, that one pivotal person and like I have that one pivotal person in my life who, you know, believed in me when, you know, I. I didn't believe in myself. And you know when you're, when you're in foster care and you feel like all you want is for somebody to choose you and for somebody to, to see you for who you are and not just a number in a system.

So thank you for being that. 'cause you know, you just never know where that pivotal person can come into your life and change. The trajectory of not just your future, but how you feel about yourself, because that's really the difference, right? The difference is how do we feel about who we are? At the end of the day, if you feel worthless, if you feel like you don't belong, then you're gonna have a really hard time and struggle throughout your life just trying to find your place and that place might be really bad.

Um, so believing in somebody's potential [00:56:00] and believing in what they can do as a child means so much. So thank you for all you're doing.

Amy Vale: No, it's, I mean, it's an honor, honestly, like yeah, it's, it's truly an honor and I've learned so much as a foster parent.

Both: Mm-hmm.

Amy Vale: And I think a big part of what I have tried to instill in for the Cubs as a brand is that you belong right here just as you are.

Angela Gennari: Yeah. Yeah. I love that. Well, thank you again. And I just have one more question for you. Mm-hmm. What do you wish more people knew?

Amy Vale: Um, I wish more people knew that foster care is happening all around them.

Both: Mm-hmm.

Amy Vale: Mm-hmm. And that the kids in foster care need you to know who they really are. Mm-hmm.

Both: Not

Amy Vale: the stories that are being told about really hard circumstances and kids that have. Are really struggling, but that they're amazing kids [00:57:00] in foster care all throughout the country who need you to show up for them.

Angela Gennari: Absolutely. But.

Amy Vale: You care that they succeed?

Angela Gennari: Yeah. Yeah. Really. And they just need somebody to advocate for them, you know, because these, these children don't have a voice, you know, they're, they're in a system where people, like you were saying earlier, things are being decided on their behalf with or without them consenting to it, so, absolutely.

Amy Vale: Yep. Mm-hmm. They need, we need more people to go and beat down more doors for kids who need it, you know? Mm-hmm. Like, that's, mm-hmm. I think that's the thing is like, I just wish PE I wish more people would be willing to step forward and, and just advocate for kids.

Angela Gennari: Mm-hmm. Yes. Absolutely. Could not agree more.

Well, thank you so much Amy. This has been a delight. So how can people find you and find Percy?

Amy Vale: You can find Percy and all the other things on for the cubs.com. Mm-hmm. And [00:58:00] um, you can find me on LinkedIn. And, uh, I always love to be connected to folks, um, who wanna talk about building businesses, about fo foster care, about parenting.

Ooh, that's a whole other topic. I know. Um, so yeah, LinkedIn. Um, but you can also find for the Cubs on Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, where we'd love to have you there.

Angela Gennari: Absolutely. Well, thank you again so much, and you can also find Amy Vale on pretty powerful podcast.com. Thanks so much everybody, and thank you for being with us today.

See you next time. Bye-bye.

Intro: Thank you for joining our guests on the pretty powerful podcast, and we hope you've gained new insight and learn from exceptional women. Remember to subscribe or check out this and all episodes on pretty powerful podcast.com. Visit us next time and until then, step into your own power.