Episode 84: Sofie Lindberg

Sofie Lindberg

Intro: [00:00:00] Welcome to the pretty powerful podcast where powerful women are interviewed every week to share real inspiring stories and incredible insight to help women or anyone break the barriers, be a part of innovation, shatter the glass ceiling and dominate to the top of their sport industry or life's mission.

Join us as we celebrate exceptional women and step into our power. And now here's your host, Angela Janari.

Angela Gennari: Hello, and welcome to another episode of the pretty powerful podcast. My name is Angela Janary. And today we are here with Sophie Lindbergh. Hi, Sophie. Hi, I'm so happy to be here. This is my pleasure.

I'm happy to have you. So Sophie Lindbergh is an American Swedish catalyst for change. She is a dynamic individual with a diverse portfolio of roles as a nonprofit founder, social entrepreneur, podcaster, speaker, coach, and community builder. She stands as a [00:01:00] staunch advocate for gender equity. Breaking norms early in her journey, Sophie founded Claim Your Potential, a women's empowerment organization, at the age of 17.

Wow, that's amazing! Thank you. Making her one of the youngest leaders in the non profit sector. So in addition to her role in the nonprofit sector, Sophie serves as the founder and CEO of Sophie Lindbergh International, a vibrant community and coaching enterprise. So I'm just want to dive into 17. I mean, golly, yeah.

What, what made you so? want to go into the nonprofit, um, segment and especially something like claim your potential. That is amazing and powerful.

Sofie Lindberg: Thank you. Um, I think I was just fortunate to have a lot of my life sped up. Um, I went to, uh, international school in Canada for high school. And I came from the U S and I went in [00:02:00] from a college preparatory middle school.

And so you were a year ahead of everyone. And so I went in and they said, Oh, you should probably skip a grade because you've already learned all this. So I went, okay, cool. And then with the way that that particular school worked is it was very flexible on. As long as you have the classes you need to graduate, you don't need to follow the traditional structure of, you know, ninth grade, 10th grade, 11th grade, 12th grade.

So then I ended up skipping 11th grade as a result. So I went to college at 16. Um, and so I started in the nonprofit sector. My very first job was in the nonprofit sector and I started off in that space. Fell in love with it and went, Hmm, I kind of want to be my own boss, uh, which is funny because technically my boss is the board of directors, but I wanted to still kind of have some, some freedom and flexibility with things.

And I was struggling to find an [00:03:00] organization that existed that had this holistic approach to women's empowerment, right? Focusing on the, how do you look at the whole woman and not. just the career or just the academics or just the finances. Um, so I wanted something that could kind of encompass everything and be like an all in one space.

And I started it after going through probably one of the most just roller coaster of a first year in college of a very abusive, uh, partner of just awful toxic friendships and people I was around. And so I needed some sort of an outlet. And it started off as a podcast, funny enough, and then it became a nonprofit.

So, um, a little bit of a strange kind of coming up story, but, um, very thankful for it. Of course.

Angela Gennari: Wow. That's amazing. Well, good for you for finding a good, healthy outlet, because those are challenging [00:04:00] times, right? When you're going through a lot and And I tend to be exactly like that. Like what you were doing, like you said, you needed an outlet.

You had all this, you know, whether it's friendships and stress and whatever else, and you found an outlet for it, that was healthy and productive. And I'm one where, you know, if I'm going through some toxicity, whether it's, you know, health issues or, or, you know, relationship issues or whatever it is, I dive into finding another way where I can be.

a better version of myself, I guess is the best way to put it.

Sofie Lindberg: Exactly. Yes. Um, and I, I feel like that's one of the most beautiful parts of I want to say not everyone can do that. Um, and I think being able to be in that space where you can, I think is one of the most beautiful parts of life is finally getting to the point where it's all right.

Instead of wallowing in it, instead of, you know, kicking myself and saying, Oh, you know, I can't believe this happened to me and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, but being able to say, well. This [00:05:00] happened can't change that this happened. So instead I'm going to use what's happened as, um, you know, learning lessons for other people or channel that, that anger into passion and put it towards something that can better the world.

So, um, yeah, I, I always love people that also kind of think that way, cause it's such a different way of processing emotions.

Angela Gennari: It is. It is. And it's very, um, more like introspective where you really are just kind of trying to figure out, like, how can I use this pain that I'm going through as fuel to do something positive?

Exactly.

Both: Yeah.

Angela Gennari: Well, and I find that, you know, when we're going through stressful times, it, it really is a determining factor of which way, how you handle stress, right? Because some people handle stress and toxicity by becoming more toxic, right? They, they take on alcohol, drugs, um, you know, other vices. They, they kind of, uh, Find ways [00:06:00] to kind of sabotage any potential success that they might have, whereas others will use that pain and toxicity as a way to fuel something positive, you know, I need out of this, I need to make sure that I'm doing the right things.

So tell me, so you were in an abusive relationship in college.

Sofie Lindberg: Yes. And so how

Angela Gennari: did that impact you?

Sofie Lindberg: Oh my goodness. And in so many, um, so many ways. Oh my goodness. Um, I, I think, Looking back on it now, all the signs were there very early on, and I don't think that I put two and two together. Um, I think I was in such a state of, I need love, I need attention, I need affection, I need someone to, um, You know, kind of balance out some of this internal pain that I was already feeling from other experiences.

And when I [00:07:00] found someone, I went, great, fantastic, this is perfect, awesome. And I kind of made excuses for all of the other behaviors, all of the, Hmm, do I think it's okay that this person looked through my phone every day? Hmm. Well, you know, maybe they're just jealous or oh, you know what? It's okay. You know, it's it's fine Maybe they just have some stuff going on and they're stressed.

All right. Hmm. This person yelled at me for nothing and Keeps yelling at me. Hmm people. They had a bad day. And so it was just like this constant Let me you know make excuses for this person and I think it took um eight, ten months before I finally went, hold on, let me put it all together. And I think it was through talking it out with One of my friends at the time and being able to see her face when I was talking through everything and she just had this look of [00:08:00] disgust of just like, and she didn't say anything and I know she didn't want to say anything, but I could see it in her face and that's when I started to go.

Oh, hold on. There is something seriously wrong here because the most nice, wonderful, amazing person that would never say anything bad about anyone is looking at me like I'm talking about a serial killer. Okay. Hold on. And I think now reflecting on it and what I've learned from it, I mean, three big things is number one, if you're not happy with yourself.

You shouldn't be in a relationship. Um, you need to focus on you first. I think a lot of the time we aren't happy with us. So we seek happiness in other people thinking that, oh I'm bringing someone into my life. That's going to cure it. That's going to make me happy. All my problems are solved. Exactly. And I think that was a big a big take away.

Um, and I think the other piece is my my, my Boundaries and my [00:09:00] ability to say, No, I'm not going to do that. No, I'm not going to accept that is in a very different space. And I will say I've lost plenty of relationships because of it. Um, friends that I had at the time stopped talking to me because I finally went.

No, I don't have the energy for that. No, I, I need to stay home tonight. No, I'm not going to go drinking with you. No, I'm not going to do that. And, um, I think when you develop those boundaries and you are very clear with those boundaries, you're going to lose people regardless. And it's the biggest, most wonderful, amazing thing when you lose those people, because you realize that this entire time you didn't have the right support network.

And that's a big part of it in any form of abuse is having the support network to really not get you out of it because you have to do that yourself, but to help you, uh, navigate life without that person.

Angela Gennari: Absolutely. So there's so many things I want to touch on there. So, you know, number one, I was in an abusive [00:10:00] relationship as well, and it doesn't happen overnight, you know, like this thing.

It's a slow burn, you know, like it's, it's slow and steady because if it were all at once, any smart, reasonable person would be like, uh, no, stop, hard stop. Right. It doesn't happen that way. It happens very slowly and manipulatively. And so you start questioning your own, you know, judgment and you start reflecting about yourself.

Like, wow, did I really, did I do something to deserve that? Did I do something to cause that? Because they start. Gaslighting you and it's it's a very slow process. Um, yes. of making you question yourself so that you question them less, right? And so that, that's part of it, number one. And you know, your, your experience where you started telling your friend, cause this is not something you talk about, you know, you don't go out and like every day be like, Oh, this new thing is happening.

And this new thing is happening. And this means you kind of, you, you just absorb it. And you're like, huh. Well, it doesn't make me feel good, [00:11:00] but I'm not going to talk about it. You know, it's not going to, you know, this is not stuff you're out there talking about every day, especially because it's a little bit humiliating.

You're like, why am I tolerating this? But then you assume it's going to get better. You, you have a fight about it. You think it's going to change. And you want to give them the benefit of the doubt. So that's number one. But then the moment you do start putting all the pieces together and you have a conversation out loud, that's your aha moment.

That's your like, Oh crap. You know? And so for me, for me, it was, it was going into a, you know, uh, a couple's counselor and saying, you know, here's what's going on. And. And so I was talking about all of this stuff in a normal tone, like it was just a regular part of everyday life. And the counselor is looking at me with the strangest look.

And she's like, do you see how you're talking about this? Like it's normal. And I'm like, yeah, she's like, yeah, nobody would think that that's normal. Like that is not a normal everyday occurrence. Like this is not normal. Have you ever [00:12:00] spoken this out loud to somebody and saw the look on their face? She said, that is your, that is your evidence that.

What you're experiencing is your normal, but it is not normal, and so we start to accept it as a new normal, and so I think that that was a transformative experience for you to have that conversation with your friend and be able to say, huh, yeah, okay, yeah, this, this, this is not okay, and then you set boundaries, and so I love that you went ahead and set boundaries, not just with the toxic You know, abuser in your life, but with everybody, because I think that that that is where we really kind of pull it all together as women and step into our power, right?

So it's about eliminating people from your life who are stealing your energy and who are not. you know, serving the best interest of a relationship of a partnership of, you know, a friendship of whatever it is. So I think that that's to setting up boundaries and holding to [00:13:00] those boundaries is a way to show respect for yourself.

Sofie Lindberg: Absolutely. There's, um, there's this analogy that I don't know why people like it so much, but I said it in randomly on a podcast once, maybe like two years ago. And, uh, it's, uh, It's kind of caught on amongst people that I know. And it's, I was talking about how, all right, well, every week I sit on the floor of my kitchen and I go through my fridge and I, you know, make sure the fruit is still good.

I look at the milk, I look at the eggs and then anything that's expired, I'm like, Oh, you know, got to go toss that. And then I'll take a look and go, Oh, you know, maybe these apples have a couple days left in them. Okay. All right. I'll, I'll make a mental note. And I was thinking about how I do that every single week in my fridge.

But I went and I stopped and I thought and I went, why don't I do that in my life? Why don't I sit and really sit in my relationships and think about them? Whether it's, [00:14:00] um, you know, a work relationship, even the career that you're in, um, whether it's a financial situation that you're in, whether it's the people that you're surrounded by, why don't I sit and look and go, wait a second, I think that That apple's expired.

It's time to get rid of it. And I think a lot of the time, we don't want to do that because we're scared that we're going to open the fridge and realize that half of it is bad.

Both: That

Sofie Lindberg: all of the produce has gone bad. Um, and it's a really scary feeling when you sit down and you do that because you realize that there's these people, uh, or for me, it was also, A job I was in as well.

And I realized, wait a second, this has been long past, you know, what I wanted for a long time now. This is, this is not what I signed up for. This is not why, what I initially thought this was or how it initially, uh, you know, how initially was for me. Why am I holding on to this? Why am I holding on to something that's not [00:15:00] actually making my life better?

It's spoiling my fridge. It's spoiling my life. So, uh, I like that analogy to, to

Angela Gennari: describe it. Absolutely. Well, and if you also look at like, you know, and like, I have a little fruit basket and you know, if you let one piece of fruit start going rotten, what does it do? The other one's rotten. And so like you have to discard it, hurry up and get rid of it before it has an impact on anything else in your life.

Right? And so I love that analogy because I think that there's so much validity in, in terms of like, you know, and, and I call it protecting my energy. You know, like if somebody, you know, if I'm, if I'm around somebody and I just feel like after I leave a conversation with them, I'm drained. I don't feel good.

My, you know, it's like, Oh, this is, this is not good for my energy. I have to not have this person in my life. And it's okay. It's okay. Okay, to start eliminating those people out of your life. And we have to give ourselves permission as women, which we're terrible at doing, right? Because we're people pleasers.

We want [00:16:00] when everybody like us. But I think, um, you know, one of the ways that we can really, you know, like your, your company claim, your potential is making sure that, you know, you are putting your energy where it belongs and where it best serves you and others.

Sofie Lindberg: Exactly. And the best part that I like to tell people is when you do finally stand up and you set a boundary and you, you know, you're like, Hey, we can't be friends anymore.

You know, Hey, I don't think this job's right for me. I would say 99. 9 percent of the time their reaction justifies why you're doing it. Yeah. every person in my life that I've, you know, cut off and kind of told them why, um, jobs, even friends and, and, and colleagues that I know that had done the same thing.

Every single person had such a, uh, just awful reaction from the other party to where you're like, yeah, it's good that I just cut you out because if this is how you're talking to me now, or this is how you're reacting [00:17:00] Thank you for justifying my decision to not be around you anymore.

Angela Gennari: Yeah, exactly. Yeah, absolutely.

So what recommendations and what advice would you give to somebody who has somebody toxic in their life? How do you disengage from that relationship?

Sofie Lindberg: I think a lot of the time as people, we, we feel a responsibility to those in our life. We feel a responsibility to, you know, Oh, I don't want to hurt them.

I don't want to make them sad. Oh, they, you know, they have a lot going on in their life right now. I, I just, I don't want to tell them that how I'm really feeling, but the truth is. you have to come first.

Both: And

Sofie Lindberg: I think the worst thing you can do is to let it fester and to hold on to it and to not say anything because it's going to come out at the worst possible time.

And we just know that from, From I would say every piece of research on holding stuff in, it's going to come out at the most inopportune time. And so being able to have [00:18:00] control over the situation, being able to have control over how you say it, when you say it, where you say it. I think is really important because it is respectful to you and it's respectful to them.

Um, you can have a toxic person, but you still owe them the respect of telling them. Um, you still owe them the respect of, look, I, you know, I'm doing this for me. Um, And I think that's where sometimes there's a bit of confusion, is we think that, oh, you know, this person hurt me, or, you know, oh, I just don't like their energy anymore, I'm just gonna slowly pull away from them, uh, which I think is good to some capacity, but it's when you don't have the conversation, what you've, what you've, Now done is you have not given yourself closure and you've not given them closure, which means you're going to have this semi open cracked door, maybe not even a door, but a window.

That's going to always be, you know, letting in a little bit of a draft. [00:19:00] So being able to get that closure for yourself, I think is important. And also for them as well, just to show them that respective, you're a human being, and I'm going to treat you like a human being and make sure that, that this is something that we both are aware of.

Um, I think that's a big piece. And then I think the other piece is being able to kind of pull yourself out of your own mind just for a moment. Um, when you're looking at toxic relationships, when you think about it from your own perspective, you're not going to see them until it's too late until it's way past what is, uh, just one off situations to where it's a pattern and being able to pull yourself out of.

arguments, um, you know, disagreements, being able to say, okay, let me think of this as, here's Sophie, here's this person. This is what happened. This is the words that were exchanged. Okay. How would that be [00:20:00] interpreted to an outside perspective, an outside perspective? Hmm. That's not a nice thing to say to that person.

Okay. Hold on. There might be a bigger issue here. Let me connect. Why did someone feel comfortable to say that to another person?

Both: Oh,

Sofie Lindberg: okay. Okay. There is a much bigger issue. Maybe I should reassess this relationship. And I think being able to actively do that, and it's not easy. Um, it's, you know, I, I say it like it's easy.

It's taken me years of practice to get there, but being able to, to pull yourself out of it just for a moment to think about it as though you were a bystander walking on the street, seeing this fight happen. what would be your reaction? And then being able to make decisions based off of that and off of a here is as, you know, accurate as a viewpoint as you're going to get, is that bystander reaction?

Angela Gennari: Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah. Just like you were, you know, saying earlier when you were telling your friend about, you know, a situation, you know, your abusive situation is the [00:21:00] same thing. You know, it's like, what would somebody looking on the outside looking in, how would they judge this? And, and it's, You know, I always say perception is reality.

You know, if, if somebody else perceives something to be a certain way, there's probably more truth in that than in the version of it that you have in your head. If you're in this. Oh,

Sofie Lindberg: yes. I love that.

Angela Gennari: I love that. Yeah. So, okay. So to kind of pivot a little bit. Um, so when you, um, are setting up a nonprofit at the age of 17, can you tell me about some of the challenges that you had?

Sofie Lindberg: Oh, goodness. Um, Oh, the number one challenge I had was the imposter syndrome, but specifically my identity.

Both: Um,

Sofie Lindberg: and what I mean by that is being 17, being a young [00:22:00] woman, going into a space that very male dominated. I mean, it still is the nonprofit sector. Um, in terms of CEOs and, and, you know, heads are still pretty male dominated and older male dominated.

And so going into meetings of, all right, I got to go find my board members and meeting with people that were 20, 30, 40 years older than I was, was the most difficult thing I think I've ever had to do. Because In the beginning, I was not sure what I was doing. I was going in just jumping off a cliff and hoping I wasn't going to fall flat on my face and maybe catch some air and kind of drift downwards.

Um, and I was, you know, Going into all these meetings and I was letting people push me around. I was letting people tell me what was best for my organization. I was letting [00:23:00] people tell me, um, that what I was doing wasn't going to succeed. I was letting people tell me that, you know, oh, it shouldn't be like this.

It should be like this instead. And. Granted, I think that there's power in people giving you feedback, but it wasn't feedback. It was, I know this is an easy target and I want to shift how this is going. So I know she's not going to stand up. I know she's not going to say anything. I know she's just going to go with whatever we say.

So we're going to kind of push her that direction.

Angela Gennari: Yeah,

Sofie Lindberg: and whether it was intentional or not, it definitely at the beginning felt very, um, I felt like for lack of a better word, a loser. Um, I felt like I was screaming in a crowded room and no one could hear me.

Both: Um,

Sofie Lindberg: it was a very isolating feeling and it was isolating for, for six, eight [00:24:00] months into it.

It was, it was very isolating. And then I don't know what shifted, but it was almost like this. overnight. I think I had some nightmare or something and then it just kind of woke me up to it. But overnight I, I woke up and I remember just going over to my desk and writing down everything that I wanted to say, but I didn't.

And I think that changed my life because I realized after page 12 of this like college ruled, you know, spiral notebook that, wow, I have been letting people dictate. my life and letting people dictate what I want to do and my decisions and letting people dictate what I'm, what I'm saying and what I want to say.

And it was the hardest thing to see because I've always thought of myself as a strong woman. My, [00:25:00] my mom is, is incredibly just, Stands on her own two feet strong, impactful, powerful. And she raised me to be the same way. And I thought I was. And then here I am writing all this stuff down. And this was like right after abusive relationship.

And I'm like, what is happening to my life? All these things that if any other person was going through, I would say, what the heck are you doing? Go stand up and say something. I was letting happen and I wasn't doing anything. And then I think at that point, I finally woke up and went, You know what? When I go to my meeting today.

I am leading the agenda. I am leading the conversation. I'm asking for feedback. I'm asking for input, but I am making the decision at the end of the meeting. I'm making the, the action items. I am doing this and that changed everything. Um, and it made me want to continue in entrepreneurship, um, because I finally realized the type of leader I am and [00:26:00] how I can best lead.

And so I'm in a way thankful for, for dealing with that because now it is a yes or no, there's no in between. Um, it's either a, what's there's some phrases, either a hell yes or a hell no. it's, if you're not sure, then it's a hell no. Um, So

Angela Gennari: yeah, yeah, I love that. Yeah, absolutely. And I think that, you know, that's very relatable because I think that when we're, when we're new entrepreneurs, anyone who's ever started their own business or even just started their own, like, you know, if you're in the PTO and you're on a committee, if you're, if you're doing anything that requires leadership, it's very challenging at times.

If you're new in the role to be in a position where you feel like you, you are an authority, even if you're at the top. So even if it's your committee, your company, your nonprofit, it's very challenging. And especially being young. And I started my first company in my early twenties. And you [00:27:00] know, it was the same, same thing.

I let people tell me what the company should be because I felt like, well, what do I know? You know, I don't know anything. So even though my, you know, my version of what I was trying to create became a version of what somebody else always. You know, and that wasn't authentic. So I can totally relate to that.

Oh,

Sofie Lindberg: sorry. I was just going to say that there's, um, a really great, I was listening to the Mel Robbins podcast and she just had the, the founder and the former CEO of it cosmetics on, and they were talking about, um, confidence. And one of the things she said is that You're not crazy. You're just first. And I think a lot of the time when you're young, especially you're starting out in business, you hear all the time.

That idea is too big. That's not going to work. That's not going to happen. No, no, no. Think smaller. You're, you're crazy. Um, and she says, I'm not crazy. I'm just first.

Angela Gennari: Mm hmm. So [00:28:00] true. So true. Well, and I think that, you know, one of the scary things with imposter syndrome is we're really gonna, you know, it's hard for us to take a stand because we're afraid of being wrong, right?

Like, what if I'm wrong? What if everybody else is right and I'm wrong? They have the experience. I don't have the experience. So clearly they know what they're talking about. And I don't. And so, you know, you start getting in your head with imposter syndrome and, you know, with being first in market at anything, you're going to have the critics come out and talk about how your idea just won't work.

So it's one of the hardest things to overcome for sure. Absolutely. Yeah. So as you're building your, your, your board and you're creating these boundaries, how do you foster a culture of respect and healthy boundaries within your organization?

Sofie Lindberg: Oh gosh, that, um, I am, I'm [00:29:00] lucky and fortunate to have been in some very toxic work environments in my life, um, where there was no culture of respect.

And I think I was able to pick up on it very quickly of, Hmm, why is this person asking me to do check in meetings every day? What? Why is this person watching me as I'm in my Trello board? But like, they're always watching me in my Trello board. Why is this person asking me to like screen share as I'm doing this with them?

This just doesn't make sense to me. And after going through that, I knew I did not want to replicate that. I knew that micromanagement kills creativity. Micromanagement causes high turnover rates. Micromanagement is pretty much the kiss of death for any, uh, company culture. Yeah. I remember going into my nonprofit with that same [00:30:00] Um, at the beginning going, okay, I, I'm the founder, you know, I, I got to go make sure everything's perfect and I'm micromanaged and I admit that I micromanaged and what happened was our first round of staff that we had all of them left.

Both: Um,

Sofie Lindberg: because I, I fully admit that I micromanaged and I, you know, got into my, this is my baby. You don't know what you're doing. Like I, I have to, it's, you know, it's gotta be my way. And I realized how toxic that was. And now going into Sophie Lindbergh International and. You know, kind of how I was able to close out my, my time with Kramer potential is I really made such a, an conscious effort of switching it over to a, I am here to support you.

I am here to help with the, you know, the big strategic thinking decisions. [00:31:00] But I trust you in your role. I wouldn't have hired you if I didn't trust you. I trust you that you have the experience to do this. And if you don't, I trust that you have the, the knowledge to ask me or to ask someone that you know, has the experience or to, you know, look it up and do some little YouTube workshops or, or something, some way of, of being able to grow.

And I think. Um, for companies that are maybe not as cognizant of it, I would say the first step to do to fully understand is to talk to your staff. And I don't mean like, let's have an all team meeting and, you know, go around Robin and say, you know, give me some feedback. No, it's the one on one conversations that you're going to get that because You have an all staff, no one's going to say anything.

You know, you're with 12, 20, 30, 40, 50 people. No one's going to tell you what they really think, but having one on one conversations with people, [00:32:00] really understanding how they're doing, asking them questions, getting to know their style, I think is important too. When I onboard people, I always ask the same five questions and it's how do you communicate with your team and colleagues.

How do you like to be appreciated? What are your strengths and weaknesses? What do you hope to achieve? while working here and tell me a fun fact.

Both: And I

Sofie Lindberg: find that makes such a world of difference because the fun fact, I now know something that's a conversation starter. If I know you have a dog, every meeting I'm going to ask you, Hey, how's Mango doing?

Hey, how's Charlie doing? Um, you know, Hey, how's your daughter's dance recital going? I, you know, I hope her ballet is, you know, doing well, you know, being able to know something that's not work related, I think is helpful. And that piece of appreciation is so undervalued because a lot of [00:33:00] companies decide, okay, we're going to do pizza parties for appreciation.

You know, Oh, we're going to do, um, you know, here's a, here's a spa weekend getaway for appreciation. But if that's not what they want. Then you're not, you're not doing anything and understanding how people are motivated. Uh, understanding how people like to be appreciated, I think is important because it's very different across, across people.

I have plenty of people that I've worked with that love being motivated. public, you know, shout outs and slack channels. They love it. And then I have other people that really appreciate just a one on one really quick coffee chat of, Hey, you know, I want to say thank you so much for all the work you're doing.

You know, here's all the great things that you've been able to do. You know, maybe it is a, a shout out, um, in the next staff meeting or, or just a quick one on one, um, little comment here and there. You know, it may be [00:34:00] it is a spa weekend or a coffee that I'm treating you to whatever it is. Um, I think that's important.

And I think that once you get there, respect is going to come with that.

Both: Yeah.

Sofie Lindberg: Because if you're treating your staff, you're treating your team like they're people, they are your equals. They are, um, there to support you. You're there to support them. Respect is just going to flow with that.

Angela Gennari: Agreed. Yes, I agree.

Well, and that, you know, backing away from micromanagement is important. And I, you know, I have a, like, I don't like, and I think that you'll find this with a lot of entrepreneurs is there's a management that's leadership style, and then there's a visionary leadership style. And they tend to be very opposite in their approach.

Yes. Like I have a visionary leadership style. If I have to micromanage you, now I'm pissed off about it. Now I'm like, okay, [00:35:00] now this is not a good use of my time to be involved in your job, right? Like, like I hired you to do a job. If you're not able to do it without my assistance. Now, now I kind of have to question, like, how, how effective are you at your job?

And so like, I do not like to micromanage and I don't like to be micromanaged. And so I completely understand about the toxicity of that, but I can also fall on the far side of that, right. Where I'm a visionary leader, which means that I like the big picture stuff. I like the, you know, let me throw a couple of resources at you, use them to the best of your ability.

But I'm fully focused on chasing this vision down here. And, you know, I'll kind of let you guys know where we're, where we fall along the way, but I can become disconnected, you know, and so I can become more disconnected from the day to day, not on purpose. You know, not because I don't want to be involved with the day to day, but it stresses me out and it crushes my creativity.

Right. And [00:36:00] so like, if I'm in the weeds of my business and, and I'm involved with the day to day operations too much, I get too far away from the vision. And then, then I'm not happy. Then, then it's like, there's no balance. And so. I think it's important to have both sets of leadership in your, in your company.

Sofie Lindberg: Absolutely. It's, um, I, I, you know, was thinking on that and I started off in a very, I'm a, I'm a managerial leader. I, you know, I just want to like micromanage everything I want, you know, X, Y, and Z done like this and this done like this. And then I, I shifted to visionary. Um, and I kind of had the same thing of, I was a little too visionary to the point of I couldn't really articulate how I wanted it to happen.

I was like, just make it happen. Just do it. Um, and, and I think, yeah, being able to get to the point where you're like, all right, well, I need a little bit of the visionary, but I need to [00:37:00] be able to tell the social media team. Like what the goal is for the social media team and like what channels we want to use and um, you know, the, at least the type of content that we want to push out and, and things like that.

So being able to kind of articulate that I think is, is very important and it takes a while to, to get there. Um, I, I was speaking with a colleague of mine who, who's been working in, in leadership for 25 years now, maybe 30 years now, and she's still grappling with the, sometimes I just really want to say, what are you doing?

Just let me take over your work and let me just do this. Do it for you 'cause you're not doing what I want. Yeah. But then other times, no one knows what I'm asking them to do. And so, um, I think it's something that entrepreneurs or anyone in a leadership role is always going to struggle with, myself included.

Angela Gennari: Mm-Hmm. . Absolutely. So, so who inspires [00:38:00] you in your journey and what you do? Um,

Sofie Lindberg: three people. So I would say. First and foremost, my mom. Um, I think my mom, we have a very interesting relationship because we're best friends, but also she's my mother. And so growing up, that was a little bit funky because we would yell at each other and then I would, we would say, let's go like, go hang out and go see a movie or go catch a show.

And it was just a very interesting relationship. And when I became an adult, she. Didn't stop being my mom and she didn't stop being my friend. And I think having someone in your life where you can go to and say, here's what's going on.

Both: And they

Sofie Lindberg: just know you to your core. They just, they know who you are.

They know, um, what you've been through. They, they know kind of what your intentions are with things as well. I find that to be [00:39:00] very helpful. And so in those conversations with my mom, I found such immense inspiration because she's able to bring everything back to, well, what's the bigger picture? What's the greater purpose?

What, you know, you're doing this, but how does that connect to, you know, how you want to change the world? What's that doing to impact the world? And I find that to be very helpful. And I also think about everything that she's been able to, been able to do. Um, she was a single mom and grew up on welfare.

And when she had me and my parents divorced and everything like that, she really took on the, The jack of all trades role of, you know, I'm a mom, but I'm dating, but I work full time and I'm in the tech industry and I've got friends that I want to hang out with. And I am in musical theater and doing shows and singing operas and, and doing everything.

And I think she, she taught me [00:40:00] that. you can in a way not just be one thing and kind of do it all. But she also taught me you can't do it all because, uh, she taught me there's no such thing as work life balance. Um, there's always moments where one thing takes over her life. And oftentimes it's everyone else takes over her life and she doesn't get time for herself.

Both: And I find

Sofie Lindberg: that to be, you know, Very educational because it makes me and it kind of forces me to set alone with my thoughts and go All right. I don't want to end up, you know, where where she is at in the sense that she doesn't have a second for herself Okay, what can I take off my plate to get there? I think the other person that really inspires me is Audrey Hepburn.

I was obsessed with her since I was maybe seven years old. I had this shrine to her in my bedroom. Um, and growing up, I always saw her as this [00:41:00] humanitarian icon. And I was, Shocked that there was someone on this earth that existed that had so much grace and wisdom and this undeniable, this undeniable passion of truly helping others.

And I think that's rare. And if I can live every day in a way that I am authentic to myself. I'm graceful and I can be, you know, I can toot my own horn, but I can also say, you know what? Yeah, I made a mistake on this. I messed up. I did this wrong. Um, being able to connect everything I do to a bigger purpose in life.

And I think being able to live my life where I don't hurt, I help. Um, I think is, is just inspiring and it makes me want to live very differently. Um, [00:42:00] so

Angela Gennari: yeah. I love that. I love that so much. Um, okay. So, uh, I don't want to, you know, end this podcast before I really touch on this very important point. So you're also very highly involved in gender equity and, you know, how, you know, when you were talking about women and empowerment and, you know, kind of.

Getting to that whole woman, right? The, the all aspects of us and how, you know, and, and empowering, um, the woman as, you know, not just career, not just finance, not just being a mom, not just, you know, what role we're playing in life. Talk to me a little bit more about that and where that passion comes from.

Sofie Lindberg: Yeah, I think it, I was raised around strong women, um, my mom being one. And I think my, my aunt is also, um, just. an incredibly strong force in my life as well. She might not always realize it, but she is. Um, and I think being around really strong [00:43:00] women makes you have this, just feels like second nature to want to question, um, why.

some women don't show up that way in their life. And I think it's a very hard thing to see is when I see women show up to work or to school or to, um, you know, we're hanging out as, as friends or we're going out to dinner or something, or when I, or, you know, they're coming to a coaching session or they're at whatever it may be.

And when I see them show up and I can feel this sense of just pain, um, Whether it's pain through, you know, things that are going on in their life that they're not talking about or that they're not, you know, dealing with, um, Or it's just this historical pain of everything I do doesn't seem to be enough.

Mm-Hmm. . [00:44:00] And I think that's something that every woman at some point in her life has felt is, I'm doing all of these things, but I feel like I'm not a good person. I feel like I'm not doing enough for other people. I feel like I'm failing. And this imposter syndrome, I forgot what the sta what the statistic was, but it was something like over 75% of women.

Don't feel like they, you know, are qualified in life in various ways and that was hard to hear and I think in my life from you know non profit space for profit space anything that I do I want centered around this idea of How can you get a woman to show up? As herself, in her full power, with her boundaries set, with a vision of what she wants, where she's not afraid if she gets told no, she's going to keep doing it anyways.

You know, if someone says, [00:45:00] no, that's, you're crazy. You can't do that. That's too big. That's too bold. That she's like, no, I'm going to keep going. I'm going to do what I want to do. And I'm going to find my space. And if you don't belong, then that's okay. Cause that's my space.

Angela Gennari: Yeah, absolutely. Um, well, and when you were just saying about, uh, and I might not attribute this correctly, but I think it was Marilyn Monroe that said, I wish that brilliant women had the same confidence as mediocre men.

And I think that that's true. Yes. Um, because I think that women, you know, we question ourselves and our skills and our abilities all the time. And it's very hard on us, you know, like it's, it's an ego thing where we, we feel like we're constantly not good enough. And, you know, statistically, you know, women will not apply for a job unless they meet a hundred percent of the qualifications.

Whereas men will generally [00:46:00] apply for that same job. Same job if they meet 60 percent of the qualifications because they understand that they have the skill and the ability to learn on the job. Whereas women assume that if they don't, if they're not at 100 percent of the qualifications that they won't be considered.

And it's simply not true, you know, and that's one of the reasons why men advance so much faster than women do in the workforce. You know, it's that we don't take the same chances. We don't have the same confidence in our abilities. And so, yes, I agree that, um, you know, empowerment is so, so, so critical right now.

And, you know, one of the things that I'm very passionate about is women helping women. And I think that women can be our worst enemies, you know, so much more harsh than men. And so, you know, we, we tend to, um, be more judgmental than men are of us. I mean, some of my greatest mentors in my life have been men.

And, um, you know, really incredibly wonderful men who were very giving of their time and their [00:47:00] expertise to be able to help me along. And I couldn't think of one woman outside of my mother who has ever done that for me. And that's one of the reasons I started this podcast, because we need to be providing that platform for each other and for, you know, continuing to elevate and, you know, get our, our Um, confidence and also just the mentorship because our experiences are different.

Let's just be honest. They're different. So, you know, I think that gender equity is very important. And so I applaud you for going down that path and making that one of your key initiatives. So thank you. So, um, as women, we often give our power away, whether it's, you know, taking criticism that's undeserved.

And you talked about, you know, when you were first starting out your company or your nonprofit, that you would constantly let people kind of tell you what to do. So can you tell me about another time that you gave your power away? And then at a time that you stepped into your power?

Sofie Lindberg: Yeah, oh my goodness.

Um, [00:48:00] so many. Um, which is, that's sad to say. Um, beyond, beyond, um, you know, abusive relationship, beyond,

Both: I

Sofie Lindberg: would say when I got out of that relationship, I stepped into this, all right, now I want to do everything that I couldn't do in a relationship. So I, you know, was going to all these parties and I was hanging out with all these guys and, um, and I think.

After a while, I started to realize that that wasn't me. Um, I started to realize that, wait a second, I, why am I go getting, like, blackout drunk every weekend. That's not what I want. That's not who I am. That's never been who I am. And I think [00:49:00] coming out of that relationship where I was constantly told, no, you can't do this.

You can't do that. You can't do this. You can't hang out with these people. Um, I kind of went overboard afterwards and in a way it was almost like I was giving my power back to that former partner because I was saying, all right, well, you know, you told me no for this. You told me no for that. Well, now I'm going to go do it.

Even if I didn't actually want to go and do it, I was just going out and was like, you know, screw you. I'm doing this to spite you. And I. What I had fought so hard to get out of, I was essentially saying, but you still have control over my decisions. You still have control over my life. And it wasn't until I had met a very close friend of mine, actually, I had met him at one of these parties and we sat down and had this really, really fantastic conversation.[00:50:00]

And It was just almost like word vomit came out of like everything I was feeling, why I was going out and doing all these things. I started crying like the first time I hung out with this person. I was just, it just all came out. And he looked at me and he just kind of went, do you feel better now? And I went, yeah.

He goes, I could tell you needed that. Um, and I think being able to actually feel what I was trying to feel, um, let me step back into my power and let me reclaim it because I had been pretending like I was fine, pretending like I wasn't hurt, pretending like I wasn't, um, blaming myself for being in such an awful relationship for so long.

I blamed myself for a very long time. Um, And being able to finally let it all go, cry it out, and say this wasn't my fault, [00:51:00] this was just a person that did horrible things, that needs to go deal with their own pain, and his pain cannot be my pain,

Angela Gennari: and

Sofie Lindberg: I'm making it my pain, and that's not, that's not who I am, that's not healthy for me, and that's not gonna help me.

And from then on, that was around the same time that I was also waking up from that nightmare and writing out all the things that I wanted to say and I didn't say. And so all this was just happening at one time. And that's when I finally realized that every single part of my life, I've let people dictate.

I've let people tell me what I can't do, what I should do, what I, um, what I need to do going forward. And I, finally said enough is enough. If this is how I am living, I don't want this life. I don't want to live for somebody else or to spite somebody else. I [00:52:00] want to live because this is my purpose, this is my passion, this is what I'm going to do.

And ever since then, I've lived every single day telling myself that I believe in my ability to create a better life for myself. I believe in my ability to step into my power and I believe in my resilience. And I think that's helped. Um, and I try to tell people the same thing is that hearing the words, I believe in you, whether it's to you or from someone else.

It makes all the difference.

Angela Gennari: Absolutely does. 100 percent I agree with you. So, okay, I can completely relate. Yes, I agree that, you know, just stepping into your power sometimes just means being authentic to yourself. And, uh, you know, making sure that you're not doing things out of other people's influence, just because, you know, just because it's there.

So, good for you. That's a great story. So, one last thing, and [00:53:00] I've really appreciated our conversation. I've gotten a lot of great insight, and I wish you so much incredible success in everything you do. Thank you. But, one last question is, what do you wish more people knew?

Sofie Lindberg: I wish more people knew it would be okay.

I think we spend so much time focused on, especially women, we spend so much time focused on the, what if it doesn't work out? I'm not sure. I don't want to do it. Like what, like, what if it, I fail? And, um, you don't need to be a hundred percent sure. You just need to be 51 percent sure.

Angela Gennari: Yeah.

Sofie Lindberg: Um, and I think, I wish people knew that.

And I wish people knew, The other side of that or part of that is when we make those decisions, we're so afraid that we're going to make this life altering decision and that it's just gonna, you know, change everything. And in reality, 90 percent of the decisions we make are what [00:54:00] I call type two decisions.

And those are decisions that You can walk back out of the door once you've walked in, you can take it back, you can backtrack. Um, and I think that once you start to think about decisions like that, it makes a difference. Because you realize it's not as high stakes as you think. It's a lot, lot simpler than we think it is.

Angela Gennari: Yeah, I agree. I agree. And not everything is life and death. You know, very, very few things are. So. Exactly. Well, thank you so much, Sophie. I have really enjoyed our conversation. You are such a delight to talk to, and I am so excited for your future and all the things that you're going to do. Thank you. It was a pleasure speaking with

Sofie Lindberg: you.

I really enjoyed this conversation. I haven't, uh, haven't been on a podcast in a while, so I was excited to, excited to talk to you.

Angela Gennari: Yes, my pleasure. So, um, you can find Sophie Lindbergh on prettypowerfulpodcast. com, but how else can people find you?

Sofie Lindberg: So you can connect with me at sophielindbergh. net. That [00:55:00] is Sophie Lindbergh International.

Um, we're actually in our Startup phase, which is super exciting. So we'll be launching, uh, March 18th. There we go. March 18th. So if you want to go check us out, sophielindenberg. net. If you also want to go pay a visit to, uh, the nonprofit I founded, it's claimyourpotential. org. We do actually have a mentorship program.

So if any of your listeners are interested in mentorship, um, they can go ahead and sign up on there. And a little bonus that we're giving away to people with Sofia Lindbergh International is anyone that connects with us through a podcast, if you use the promo code podcast, you get 10 percent off your first coaching session with one of our incredible life coaches, which is very exciting.

Angela Gennari: Very awesome. I love it. Well, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. It's been a pleasure. And guys, you can catch us on the next episode of pretty powerful podcast, but for now, thank you, Sophie. And please come check her out on pretty powerful podcast. [00:56:00] com. And we look forward to seeing you next time. Have a great day, everyone.

Intro: Thank you for joining our guests on the Pretty Powerful Podcast, and we hope you've gained new insight and learned from exceptional women. Remember to subscribe or check out this and all episodes on prettypowerfulpodcast. com. Visit us next time, and until then, step into your own power.